TITLE:    NEVER BE SORRY
AUTHOR:   DONNILEE
E-MAIL:   donnilee@snet.net 
WEBSITE:  http://donnilee.tripod.com
RATING:   NC-17
CATEGORY: SK/O
SPOILERS: Itsy, bitsy one for Avatar, Triangle, Beyond the Sea

SUMMARY:  "I will always love your father, Dana."  She paused.  "But he's 
dead!  He's dead, and I can't change that.  I don't want to spend the rest of my 
life ALONE," she emphasized.

DISCLAIMER:  All characters used from the show, The X-Files are the 
property of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Broadcasting.  No 
copyright infringement intended.  No money made here.

THANKS:  To my beta reader, FatCat, who drags me back from the cliff-edge 
of insanity on numerous occasions in any given month; I bow at your feet, 
darling. She also deserves credit for the Denny's joke herein, as well as 
a couple other witty moments that I never would have thought of.

XXXXXXXXXX
PROLOGUE (PG-13)
XXXXXXXXXX
MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOME
BETHESDA, MD
FRIDAY - 2:00 PM

I wiped the sweat off my brow with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and trudged up 
the front steps as I heard the phone ringing.  I hurried into the living room and 
scooped the handset out of the cradle.  "Scully Residence," I answered.

[Maggie!] the animated voice on the other end exclaimed.

"Judy?"

[That would be me.  Hey, I'm calling because the local VFW is planning a 
charity event for the Veteran's Hospital Fund and we're looking for volunteers.  
You know, the fund they use to help Vets with no medical insurance?]

"I know about it.  When my commitment as Treasurer for the Auxiliary was 
done last month, I was hoping to slow down my participation a bit."

[Why?]

I sighed.  It was none of her business.  Judy was a nice person, but nosey as all 
hell.  I gave her a reason that I felt comfortable sharing with her."  I've just been 
spread a little thin lately, Judy.  I need a break.  I want to spend some time with 
my children and grand children."

[Oh, I can understand that.  We could really use your help on this though.]

Uh oh.  The guilt trip.  "What type of charity event are we talking about?  I 
assume it's a bit more involved than a bake sale."

Judy laughed like I was the funniest person on earth.  [You're a riot, Maggie.  
No, we wanted to do a dinner dance with a DJ or something.  We'd have to 
figure the cost of the food and caterer of course and then determine the price of 
tickets for singles and couples.]

Singles.  Yes, I was a single again.  Had been for the last three years.  It still felt 
strange.  Forty years of being with one man didn't just go away in a few days.  I 
still felt like a third wheel at these events.  When Bill was at sea, I simply had 
not gone to them.  If he were home, we would go, end of story.  "Who else 
would be on the committee?" I asked, knowing I was relenting.

[We're not sure yet, but we're trying to get some of the more successful veterans 
in the area to help out.  I will be there, of course.  And probably Sue Reynolds, 
the VFW Auxiliary secretary.]

"Yes, Judy.  I know who she is.  I've worked with her for ten years," I replied 
drolly.

[Right!  Right!] she said, in that dippy, high-pitched voice of hers.

"When are you meeting?"

[Tomorrow.  At the VFW, around 1:30 PM.  Would that work for you?] she 
asked, sounding way too hopeful.

I sighed again.  "I'll be there."

[Oh, good!  I'll see you there.]

VFW Post 10081 was located on 7100 Whittier Boulevard in Bethesda.  Bill and 
I had been members for twenty years, and members of this particular post for the 
last ten.  I'd always done volunteer work for them and had usually enjoyed it.  
Lately though, it was less enjoyable and I was feeling the strain.  Something was 
missing in my life and I wanted to take some down time and figure out what it 
was.  The obvious answer would be that Bill was gone.  I knew that, but it was 
more than that.  

I was bored with the path my life was taking.  I wanted a life separate from the 
lives of my children.  I didn't want to end up being one of those grandmothers 
who had no life of her own and let her life revolve around her kids and 
grandkids, living vicariously through them.  I didn't want to be a built-in baby 
sitter who had nothing better to do.  I was still too young for that.  I'd raised my 
kids; I wasn't going to raise my grandchildren.  

I wanted more.  I just had no idea what I wanted or how to get it.  Maybe I 
should take an art class or a ballroom dancing class or something.  I sighed and 
went back outside to finish the gardening I'd started.  Gardening relaxed me and 
I felt the tension slide away as I carefully planted the tulip bulbs and packed the 
soft, rich loam around them after sprinkling water and bone meal in the holes I'd 
dug.

When I was finished, I went inside and climbed into the shower.  Maybe it 
wasn't such a bad idea to get involved in this dinner dance.  I didn't need to be 
sitting around the house staring at the walls and wishing I had a hobby, 
regardless of how bored I was or what I thought my life might be missing.  If I 
didn't strangle Judy Phillips, all would be well.  I wasn't sure, but I was hoping if 
her IQ ever hit 50, she would SELL!


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 1 (PG-13)
XXXXXXXXXX
HOOVER BUILDING
THIRD FLOOR - 
A.D. SKINNER'S OFFICE
WASHINGTON, D.C.
ONE MONTH LATER
FRIDAY - 7:00 PM

I heard a tentative knock on the door to my office and looked up.  I said, "Come 
in."

Kim emerged from behind the door.  "Sir, what are you still doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," I replied.

She smiled.  "I forgot my purse!  I got all the way home before I realized it.  
Stupid."

"You O.K.?"

"Oh yeah, sure.  Just a lot on my mind."

I stared at her speculatively.  "Are you sure, Kim?  You can talk to me, you 
know?  Everything is confidential."

She sighed, closed the door behind her, and walked a little farther into the room.

I waved at the chairs in front of my desk and she sat down.  I decided I didn't 
like the ocean of desk between us.  She wasn't one of my Agents that needed to 
be intimidated.  The distance of the desk helped with the authority image.  It 
wasn't needed here, so I stood up and rounded the desk, taking the other chair.  

She raised her eyebrows in question and I just smiled at her.  "Too formal," I 
mumbled by way of explanation.

She nodded, letting it go.  "It's nothing really.  Just normal stuff."

"Like what?" I prodded.  I liked Kimberly and she'd been a faithful and hard 
working administrative assistant for years.  If she wasn't happy, I wanted to 
know about it, particularly if it had something to do with the job.

"It's the anniversary of my father's death today," she said quietly.  Then she 
looked at her lap.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kim.  How long has it been?" I asked gently.

"Six years."

"Where is he buried?"

"Arlington Cemetery," she answered.

"He was a Vet?"

"Yup, Viet Nam."

"I was in Viet Nam."

"I know."

"He couldn't have been very old then," I said.

"No, he wasn't.  He was just 57."

"What happened?  An accident?"

She frowned.  "No.  He was diabetic ... and he drank too much.  Cirrhosis of the 
liver got him."

"Oh Kim, I'm so sorry.  Lots of vets hit the bottle when they came back, unable 
to cope.  I did it myself."

"You did?"

"Sure, for a about a year.  Then I realized if I wanted to do something with my 
life, it was up to me.  I had to straighten out and fly right.  I never got hooked on 
it, thank God.  I know a lot of men who did though.  It wasn't uncommon."

"He married my mother before he left.  Came home to find out she'd had me.  I 
guess between that and his experiences, he couldn't cope.  He would never go 
for help.  We tried a family intervention with a psychologist.  We tried to get 
him to go to counseling for post-traumatic stress.  We tried to get him to go to 
AA."

"Nothing worked, huh?"

She shook her head sadly and slowly.  "No, nothing worked.  He would sit there 
and hear what we had to say.  Then he would simply say, 'Thank you for your 
concern, but I'm fine.'  It made me so ANGRY," she whispered this last through 
clenched teeth.

"I can understand that.  Addiction is something that's hard for the family to 
understand."

She swallowed convulsively.  "Yeah, well, I went to Al-Anon and ACOA and 
learned all about it."

"ACOA?"

"Adult Children of Alcoholics.  It's another 12-step program.  I understand it.  I 
learned all about 'detaching with love', but it never made his behavior hurt less.  
I went on with my life though.  He didn't drag me down with him."

"I'm glad.  We're you close?"

"Not really.  Sort of, I don't know.  It's complicated."

"Tell me about it, go on," I coaxed again.

"I was a tomboy," she said finally.

I smiled.  "Bad?"

She nodded.  "Real bad," she joked.  "When the girls in high school were taking 
Consumer Education and cooking classes as electives, I was taking Wood Shop, 
Metal Working and Drafting."

I laughed out loud.  "I can't picture it," I said.

She smiled again but it didn't reach her eyes.  "At the time I had no idea why.  I 
just plunged forward, somehow driven to do those things.  Hindsight is 20/20 
and I know exactly what my motivation was now."

"What's that?" I asked.

"He became a contractor.  He was a real good builder, a craftsman.  He built 
houses, foundation to finish.  Was a genius at it really.  It wasn't that he was 
cold, per se, it was just that you got attention from him by making him proud.  If 
you did something that made him proud, he would shower you with affection.  
Otherwise, you were just kind of there."

"Give him bragging rights, huh?"

"I guess.  I had a little sister, but I was the oldest.  Something told me he wanted 
a boy and was disappointed to find out I was a girl.  So I set out to make him not 
be sorry.  I was going to be the son he never had."

"Awww, Kim."

She waved her hand negligently.  "I don't want pity.  I see this all now and 
accept it.  I wanted his attention and approval so bad, I would do anything to get 
it.  If that meant taking Wood Shop, Metal Working and Drafting classes, and 
working as a carpenter during the summers and school breaks, then that was 
what I was going to do."

"You worked as a carpenter?" I asked, the surprise evident in my voice.

She smiled again at my disbelief.  "Yup.  Believe it or not.  I wasn't half bad," 
she added.

I chuckled.  "That must have been strange."

"Yeah, I remember drawing this 3-D blueprint on graph paper in drafting class 
of a room with all the measurements and the teacher looked over my shoulder 
and said, 'Not bad ... for a girl.'"

"Oh brother," I commented, amazed at how many ignorant assholes there were 
in the world.  "So what happened?"

"It worked for a while.  He taught me a lot of things.  We grew a bit closer.  I 
know he loved me, but then it started to change."

"Change how?"

"He would hand out beers to the guys on the crew during breaks.  I would have 
one too to get along, if you know what I mean.  Couple of times he lost jobs 
cause the people who hired him caught us drinking on the job."

"Oh dear."

"Yeah, it was down hill from there.  His drinking started to accelerate for no 
reason I could pinpoint.  Maybe it was the stress of operating a business.  I have 
no idea really.  I was 17 years old.  I thought I knew everything, when in reality, 
I knew nothing."

"Had he been drinking all along?"

"I don't know.  I think so, but not so heavily that it got him into trouble, until 
then.  Then his health started to decline.  He collapsed one day, babbling 
nonsense and my mother called the ambulance.  He was rushed to the hospital."

"What was wrong?"

She was staring off into space.  "He was in a diabetic coma," she said softly.

"Oh God," I said, giving her a moment to compose herself as she blinked her 
eyes rapidly.

"My mother called me at work.  I had graduated from college by then and was 
working in a law firm as a legal assistant.  She said his sugar was off the charts.  
The doctors didn't even know why he was alive.  They'd never seen someone 
with sugar that high and still alive.  He had adult onset diabetes mellitus.  They 
pumped him full of insulin and as it came down, he came around.  But he was 
incoherent and babbling something about having me a reframe a doorway in a 
house because I hadn't done it right and it was off-plumb."

I took a deep breath not knowing what to say.

She continued, "Walter, I hadn't framed a house in years.  I had gone to two 
years of college, and had been working in law for nearly three years.  It had to 
be at least six years since I'd helped frame a house or worked as a carpenter."

"He was reliving the past."

"Yes, but he kept asking for me.  So I left work and went to the hospital.  It was 
hard.  It was so hard to see him like that, not knowing what was going on around 
him.  I was used to this strong, invulnerable man, this tower of strength, and 
there he was babbling and carrying on like he was a crazy person.  It scared me."

"I would think so.  How old were you?"

"22."

"Jesus."

"Anyway, he finally came around and they put him on insulin and he started 
checking his sugar and laid off the booze for about a month and everything 
seemed fine.  Once he felt better, he started drinking again.  It was all over.  He 
would get drunk and forget his insulin and go into diabetic shock, or he would 
take too much insulin and go into insulin shock.  He wouldn't watch his diet and 
he wouldn't stop drinking."

"I don't know what to say, Kim," I replied finally.

She looked at me then and said, "There's nothing to say.  That's the end of the 
story.  He had diabetic apathy in his stomach.  Meaning food that would 
normally digest in 2 hours, took two days.  It would rot and he would vomit and 
lose weight.  He had diabetic neuropathy in his legs, meaning they would 
constantly twitch and he had no feeling in them.  Then he got esophageal 
varices, where the veins in throat become varicose and rupture.  That's when 
they discovered the cirrhosis, that's what causes it.  The blood hits those hard 
spots on the liver, which should be like a sponge and it backs up into the veins 
and they become varicose.  He had six different procedures to close off veins.  
He nearly bled to death three times."

"Jesus, Kim.  Where was the rest of the family?"

She laughed.  "My mother was ... unable to cope with a lot of it.  She did the 
best she could, but she had her own issues, a nervous break down in her past.  
My sister was busy living her life with her new fiancé and her dogs.  I mean, 
they were around but I'd always been the strong one in the family.  I was the 
rock, the one that 'took care of things.'  So it fell to me and I moved back home 
and nursed him for three years."

"That's a lot to expect of you."

She shrugged.  "I didn't resent it.  I loved him, even with all his faults.  I 
resented the alcohol and what it had done to him.  I resented him for being so 
stubborn and not accepting that it was the cause of his problems, but I never 
stopped loving him."

I stood up and took her elbow, saying, "Come here."

She stood tentatively and I took her in my arms, embracing her.  I'd never done 
anything like that with her, but it felt like the right thing to do.  She was tense, 
but then relaxed.  "I'm sorry, Kim.  I had no idea things had been so hard for 
you.  I'm your friend, not just your boss.  Remember that, O.K.?"

She nodded.  "You'd think I'd be past this by now."

"Past what?" I inquired.

"Feeling sad on this day every year, feeling it hurt all over again," she 
whispered.

"There's no statute of limitations on grief, Kimberly.  There's no right or wrong 
way to do it."

"I know that intellectually."

"You know what my mother told me about emotions and feelings?"

"What?" she asked, smiling softly as though surprised I had a mother.  

I almost laughed out loud.  Instead I smiled at her,  "She said, 'Walter, take the 
word **should** out of your vocabulary.  There is no logic when your emotions 
are involved.  They're feelings, they just ARE.'  I've never forgotten that."

"Sounds like a wise woman," she commented.

"Yes, she is."

"She's still alive?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, 75 and kicking, sharp as a tack, too."  Kimberly smiled and I was glad 
I had coaxed a smile out of her.

"I'd like to meet her.  Where does she live?"

I laughed.  "Why, so you could tell her all my dirty, little secrets?  What a ball 
buster I am?"

Now she actually laughed.  "That wasn't my idea, but now that you mention it."  
She stopped and started laughing again.

"So how did it end?"

"He got an infection.  They couldn't find the source.  It killed him.  I know it was 
the diabetes and the cirrhosis though.  If he'd taken care of himself, who's to 
know how long he would have lived.  Instead, he and my mother went out to 
dinner with friends on a Saturday night.  He woke up Sunday morning with 
chest pains.  She took him to the hospital.  His heart was fine.  Monday he went 
into convulsions and lapsed into a coma.  Tuesday he was dead," she said flatly.  
"That fast."

"I'm so sorry, Kim.  Do you go to the grave?"

She sighed and stepped back out of my embrace.  "No.  I went for the funeral 
and once about a month after he died to help my sister place a cross she'd made 
of grapevines on the plot.  The old, rugged cross?"

I nodded to let her know I recognized what it symbolized.

"I cried.  I left.  I've never been back.  I've never been able to for some reason."

"It's O.K. to be angry, you know?" I reminded her.

"I don't even know what I feel sometimes.  I miss him.  I'm angry with him.  I 
hate him for what he did to me and my mother and sister.  We weren't done with 
him yet, damn it!  Above it all, I still love him."

I patted her shoulder.  "Let me know if you need anything," I said. 

"I will.  Thanks for letting me ramble on.  Instead of visiting his grave, I go to 
VFW fund raisers for the Vet's Hospital Fund."

"I've heard of that.  Never gone though.  I should, being a vet an all.  Work just 
interferes with everything sometimes."

Kim looked at me sadly.  "Because you let it," she said quietly, with no 
accusation in her voice.

"You're right.  So what fund raiser are you going to next?"

She smiled.  "They are having a dinner dance next Friday at the VFW in 
Bethesda.  Starts at 7:00 PM."

"Do I need a date?"

"Nope, just $30 a head."

"You'll be there?"

"Yes, I will."

"Maybe I'll come then," I said.

She replied, "I'd like to see you there.  Thanks again, Walter."

"No problem.  Any time."

"You're really a great guy, Walter.  Any woman would be lucky to have you."

I snorted.  "You're a little young for me," I deadpanned.

She laughed.  "Maybe. Besides, I'm taken."  She reached up and put her palm on 
my cheek.  "I hope you find someone, Walter."

I'd long ago told her she could call me Walter when there was no one else 
around.  "I hope so too, Kim."


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 2 (PG-13)
XXXXXXXXXX
VFW HALL - POST 10081
7100 WHITTIER BLVD.
BETHESDA, MD
SATURDAY - 2:00 PM

It was finally the last meeting of the committee for this dinner dance.  I would 
be so glad when it was over.  I was on the committee and I didn't even want to 
go.  I was two minutes away from strangling Judy Phillips if she hit me with that 
hyena laugh one more time.

Finally, the Chairman, Clark Weston, called an end to the meeting.  "Meeting 
adjourned," he barked.  As I walked out, he said, "Thanks again, Maggie."

I waved over my shoulder without answering.  I was tired of talking.  Now it 
was just about showing up and transporting everything we would need to the 
hall, and setting up Thursday night and Friday afternoon.  

I realized as I walked to the car that I had nothing to wear.  I drove home and 
called Dana.  "Where can I go to buy a dinner dress that doesn't look like it 
belongs on a teenager?" I asked.

She laughed in my ear.  "Dress Barn or Talbot's has nice stuff," she replied.  

"O.K., thanks."

"Where are you going, Mom?" she asked.  "Do you have a date?" she teased.

I sighed.  "No, I'm on the committee again for the VFW dinner dance to raise 
money for the Vet's Hospital Fund.  It's next Friday."

"Oh, well, have a good time, Mom."

"I will dear.  Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXX
VFW HALL - POST 10081
7100 WHITTIER BLVD.
BETHESDA, MD
THE FOLLOWING WEEK
FRIDAY - 7:00 PM

I handed my thirty dollars to the greeter at the door and stepped inside.  Kim had 
said that it was semi-formal or business casual.  So I had worn dress slacks from 
one of my suits.  However, instead of my normal, pressed, white dress shirt, I 
chose to wear to wear a light blue Henley and a pair of loafers rather than my 
work shoes.

I scanned the rows of tables and spotted Kim.  She looked up and waved.  As I 
started toward her, someone stepped up to my side and put their hand on my 
arm.  I was about to turn and growl, annoyed at the interruption.  I didn't like 
people touching me without permission.  

I spun sideways and nearly knocked the poor woman on her ass.  Her arms 
wind-milled in the air.  I saw a flash of brown as her hair swung across her face.  
Without thinking, the old reflexes kicked in and I stooped, grabbed her up 
around the waist and bodily lifted her into the air before she could fall.  I heard 
her yelp and felt her hands land on my biceps.  I muttered, "Oh, sorry.  I'm so 
sorry."

Then I looked down and nearly gasped.  She stared at me with wide, sparkling, 
blue eyes.  I looked down to find a surprisingly generous set of breasts pressed 
into my chest, and thus nearly spilling out of the top of a V-necked cocktail 
dress she was wearing.  "Good evening, Mr. Skinner," she said, the trace of a 
tease in her voice.

"Oh my God, Mrs. Scully.  I'm so sorry."  I felt my groin tingle.  It had been so 
long since I'd had a woman held in my arms.  I gritted my teeth, willing the 
inappropriate response in my pants to calm down.  What the hell?  I was no 
teenager that got spontaneous erections!  Not even the half-mast one I had now. 

"Uh, you can put me down now," she said calmly, a smile teasing the corners of 
her mouth.  

"Oh Jesus!"  I realized I still had her clasped to my chest and her feet were not 
touching the ground.  My God she was much smaller than I remembered.  "Oh 
God, forgive me." I said as I gently lowered her to ground.

Now that she stood on her own two feet, looking up at me, now highly amused, I 
couldn't help but break into a smile.  I'd seen her hovering on the other side of 
countless hospital beds in countless hospitals as we visited her daughter, half of 
my intrepid team of X-Files agents.  

"Forgiven," she said lightly.

I smiled wider.  "Sorry about that.  You surprised me," I said lamely.

"Don't worry about it.  I should know better."

"Know better than what?"

"Than to touch a military man that hasn't seen me yet.  Bill had the same kind of 
reflexes."

I couldn't take my eyes off her.  Her thick chestnut hair was waving around her 
face.  I could see a few strands of gray that she didn't bother to cover up.  It did 
nothing to take away from the generous lips and deep, blue eyes.  She arched an 
eyebrow and reminded me so much of Scully, I laughed.  "Are you here with 
someone?" I found myself asking.

The eyebrow went higher.  "No.  I'm on the committee."

"Oh," I said, not able to think of anything to say.  "It's good to see you."

"And you also."  She paused.  "I still have to eat, and wouldn't mind the 
company at all," she said smoothly.

I smiled again.  "I'd be delighted.  I'd just like to say hello to my administrative 
assistant and her fiancé.  Where are you sitting?"
She pointed to a table on the other side of the room.  "I'll meet you there in a few 
minutes."

"I'll look forward to it," she said.

I couldn't help watching her go.  She walked with the same unconscious grace 
that I'd seen in Scully so many times and wondered at.  Now I knew where she 
got it from.  Why had I never noticed how lovely Mrs. Scully was?  Perhaps, 
because you never saw her at her best, I told myself.  I usually saw her worried, 
frantic over her daughter's injuries, low on sleep and hovering over a hospital 
bed or in a waiting room somewhere.

I sighed.  That certainly wasn't the woman I was seeing tonight.  She was 
gorgeous.  I felt a weird little pulling sensation in my chest.  I shook my head to 
dismiss it and strode to Kimberly's table.  She introduced me to Matt Foster, her 
fiancé.  I'd heard a lot about him but had never met him.  We made small talk for 
a few minutes, but my eyes kept drifting to the side, toward Maggie Scully.  
What the hell was wrong with me?  Focus, I told myself and resolutely pulled 
my eyes back to Kim.  Had she just said something?

She gave me a quirky smile and turned her head to see what I was so interested 
in.  It was early and there weren't a lot of people here yet.  Maggie was the only 
one sitting at the table in my line of vision.  She smiled wider and turned back to 
me.  "Did you bring a date, Sir?"

I coughed behind my hand.  "Uh, no, but I ran into someone I know.  She asked 
me to join her for dinner."

"Don't let me stop you.  I get to see you five days a week," she teased.

"Thanks, Kim.  Nice to meet you, Matt," I added.  I bowed slightly at the waist 
and hastily made my way over to the table where Maggie was sitting.  Instead of 
sitting across from her, I found myself slipping into the chair adjacent to her.  If 
another couple joined us at the table, I didn't want them to be sitting in between 
us.  

"Hello, again, Mr. Skinner," she greeted me.

"Hello, yourself, Mrs. Scully" I said stupidly.  "Please call me Walter."

"Only if you call me Maggie," she shot back.

She just smiled and I once again found myself staring at her.  I was flirting with 
danger here.  This was my subordinate's mother!  What the hell was I thinking?  
Get a grip, I told myself.  She's an acquaintance.  You'll have a nice dinner, 
enjoy her company and go your separate ways.  I'm a big boy, I can handle this, 
I chastised myself.

XXXXXXXXXX

Dear Lord in Heaven!  I had always found Dana's boss attractive in a peculiar 
sort of way.  I noticed him, abstractly noticed that he was a well-built man.  He 
was military and I recognized the bearing.  It appealed to me, just as it always 
had with Bill.   However, I'd never really looked at him.  He was just always 
there whenever Dana or Fox were in trouble or hurt.  I appreciated his concern 
for my daughter more than he probably knew.  I knew the work she did was 
dangerous.  It made me feel good that her immediate supervisor was at least 
human enough to care about her on some level.  Otherwise, he wouldn't be at 
bedsides when I appeared over the last few years.  He certainly had no 
obligation to be there.

Lordy!  Seeing those muscles and feeling them were two different things 
entirely.  He wasn't a young man, although I knew he was probably younger 
than me, but he had the body of a 30-year old weight lifter.  I'd hurried to 
intercept him when I saw him enter the hall, just wanting to say hello, surprised 
to see him here.  I'd foolishly reached out to touch his forearm knowing he 
hadn't seen me yet.

He had the reflexes of a snake and had whirled so fast it startled me.  I'd lurched 
backwards.  Not used to wearing the two-inch heels I was wearing tonight, I'd 
lost my balance.  I must have looked like a complete idiot as I prepared to fall.  I 
tensed for the impact, knowing I was going to go down hard.

Then I didn't.  I was stopped abruptly in mid-air flight and whisked up into the 
air.  When I came to a sudden stop, I was plastered against his bear-like chest, 
my feet dangling childishly somewhere in the vicinity of his knees.  Good lord, 
could I look any more foolish?  I wondered how many people had seen.  I hadn't 
even dared to look around.  The embarrassment!  Fifty-eight years old and I'm 
being saved from staggering on two-inch heels!  Could I have been clumsier?

Through my nervousness, I'd noticed three things.  One, he was as embarrassed 
as I was.  He was looking at my breasts, which was embarrassingly mashed 
against his solid chest.  My feet were dangling in the air, and he wasn't putting 
me down.

I'd said something by way of a greeting and he'd muttered some sort of apology.  
Still not putting me down, I'd grown amused and asked him to.  He'd sputtered 
again but then let me slide down his body and set me gently on my feet.  

My breasts had tingled and my nipples had hardened in a way long forgotten as 
they'd slid down the wall of muscle.  Once standing, I felt a bit off balance, but 
not from stumbling this time.  I'd looked up at him and we'd stuttered through 
some more greetings, which I couldn't recall even now.  Then I'd heard myself 
invite him to join me for dinner.

What in the world, by all that was holy, was I thinking?  This was Dana's boss!  
Then why was I nervous?  It wasn't a date for crying out loud.  I'd simply run 
into someone I knew and he was joining me for dinner.  We were eating 
together.  We weren't together as a couple.  I had to get a grip here.  I'd chosen a 
table across the dance floor and on the other side of the room simply to put a 
little distance between us quickly in order for me to compose myself.  I didn't 
need to be blushing like a schoolgirl at my age.  It was ridiculous.

I'd just about gotten myself under control too.  I was feeling solid, no longer 
unsteady or light-headed or tongue-tied.  This was good.  This was all good.  
Then I looked up as he suddenly slid into the seat next to me.  I hadn't heard him 
approach.  I looked up and I said hello to him.  I think he said hello back and 
then he was staring.  I found myself in close proximity to the warmest pair of 
brown eyes I think I'd ever seen peering at me through wire rims.  He smiled and 
I answered with one of my own. 

I felt his leg brush mine under the table and tingles shot up my leg and lodged in 
my juncture.  I nearly gasped from the sensation.  I could literally feel the heat 
rolling off him from a foot and half away.  He leaned toward me and without 
any warning, said, "You look beautiful in that dress, Mrs. Scully."

I felt the heat rush up my neck before I could get a handle on it.  I wasn't used to 
receiving compliments from men.  I wasn't at all sure how to handle it.  "Thank 
you," I said, and it came out in a breathy whisper.

I cursed softly under my breath, wondering why I was being such a simpering 
fool.  What had gotten into me tonight?  "That blue dress matches your eyes," he 
said.  

It was a simple observation but it touched me that he would notice something so 
small and bother to comment on it.  "You look very nice as well," I said, 
sounding stupid to myself.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.  Christ.  I'd been staring at his mouth.

He grinned.  "I asked if you wanted a drink?  I don't know what you normally 
drink.  Wine?  Beer? A cocktail?"

"I wouldn't mind a white wine spritzer," I finally managed.

"I'll be back in a flash," he said.  He stood and made his way to the bar near the 
door.  One foot he pulled up onto the rail and he leaned forward slightly, 
stretching the material of his dress slacks so that it form-fitted one of the most 
beautiful behinds I think I'd ever seen.

I breathed out through pursed lips.  'He is not interested in me.  He is just being 
polite and friendly.  Do not take this the wrong way, I told myself.  Wrong way?  
Nothing had happened,' I sternly told myself.

That resolve lasted until he slid back into his chair, graceful as a big cat and set 
my wine in front me.  'Would it be unladylike to gulp this sucker down in one 
go?' I wondered.

I forced myself to take a demure sip, feeling the bubbles from the seltzer water 
mixed with the wine fizzle and tickle my nose.  I noticed he had scotch on the 
rocks.  I swallowed hard.

He saw me looking at the drink in his hand and turned his head back to me.  "It's 
scotch.  Does that bother you?  Hard liquor, I mean?  I can get something else."

"No!" I said suddenly.  "No, sorry.  It's just, it's what Bill used to drink."

He nodded.  "I can get something else," he said as he started to slide his chair 
back to stand.  He'd barely lifted his butt off the chair.

I reached out quickly and touched grasped his forearm lightly.  "No, it's fine, 
Walter."

He froze, right in that position, half standing.  I felt a rush of warmth race up my 
arm and then tingle as it rushed back down.  I could feel the heat of his arm right 
through his shirt.  I tentatively looked up and our eyes caught and met again.  
What was happening here?

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.  I jerked my eyes away along with my 
hand and said, "It's fine, really."

He slowly lowered himself back into the chair but never stopped looking at me.  
I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head.  "Maggie," he said softly.

"Yeah?" I asked, without looking at him.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" he asked carefully.

I shook my head.  "No, I'm just not used to ... company anymore," I said finally.



XXXXXXXXXX
PART 3 (PG-13)
XXXXXXXXXX
VFW HALL - POST 10081
7100 WHITTIER BLVD.
BETHESDA, MD
THE FOLLOWING WEEK
FRIDAY - 7:00 PM

I continued to look at her.  Her hair was blocking my view of her face and I felt 
the loss of it.  I wanted to look into those eyes again.  I wasn't stupid.  I knew I 
was a big man and my gruff exterior could easily intimate people without even 
trying.  I'd dealt with that all my life.  I didn't want to make her nervous or 
uncomfortable.  I wasn't sure if she was telling me the truth or not.  I didn't know 
her well enough to tell.  I read people's body language though, and her stiff 
posture told me she was nervous and tense.

I leaned back away from her, realizing that I was leaning in toward her.  Perhaps 
that was it.  I was leaning into her personal space.  I really had no cause or right 
to do that.  It wasn't like me either.  I liked the physical distance from people 
that I imposed.  It helped me to keep control of my emotions and control my 
reactions.

Something weird was going on here.  When she'd touched my arm, I felt it all 
the way to my toes.  It was like I'd been struck mute.  A flush of warmth had 
spread through me.  When she took her hand away suddenly, I'd felt the rush of 
cold and nearly jerked at the sensation and loss.  Christ, this might be an X-File 
in a minute if I didn't get a hold of myself.  I decided a change of subject was in 
order.

"How's Dana doing?" I asked.

She finally turned to face me again, her expression telling me that she was 
grateful for the change of subject.  "You'd probably know better than me," she 
admitted.

I frowned.  "I doubt that.  Your daughter holds her cards very close to the vest."

Maggie continued to look at me.  "Not just with you, Mr. Skinner."

"Walter, remember?" I corrected her.

"Right, Walter.  Sorry.  I love my daughter," she blurted out.

"I know you do.  It's very evident."

She smiled again.  "That doesn't mean I really know her anymore.  She grew up 
a long time ago, but what I mean is that she has changed from the woman she 
once was."

"For the better or worse, do you think?"

"Both.  In some ways she is even stronger than she was before.  She's not so 
rigid in her beliefs, but has maintained her integrity, maybe even strengthened 
it."

"Do I sense a 'but' in there?" I asked.

She looked away and up at the ceiling as if it could give her answers.  "But," she 
continued.  "She is also more closed off from me and more secretive."

"Her work demands that of her sometimes," I said, automatically defending her.

Maggie turned back to me.  "I know that.  I'm not talking about that part.  I 
understand she can't tell me about cases and those things.  I mean emotionally.  
Dana is strong, but don't let her fool you.  She is very lonely."

"She told you this?" I asked.

She shook her head in the negative.  "No, but a mother can tell."

I nodded, accepting her explanation of maternal instinct.  "Why do you think 
that is?"

"Because she won't let anyone in," Maggie said simply.  "She's too much like 
her father."

"She's let Mulder in," I told her.

Now she gave me a look that said I was mistaken.  "To a point, but she hasn't 
even let him in as far as she should.  If anyone can climb over the walls she's 
built, it will be Fox.  I feel sorry for him.  She's not an easy wall to scale."

I chuckled at her analogy.  "What do you mean by that?  She hasn't let him in as 
far as she should?  She trusts him implicitly.  I know that."

She turned a bit in her seat to face me and I couldn't help that my eyes scanned 
the expanse of creamy skin above the neckline of her dress.  It was 
conservatively cut, not a low V-neck or anything, but it had a wide collar and 
the shoulders of the dress perched on the edge of her shoulders, exposing a lot of 
skin.  It looked soft and smooth, especially for a woman her age.  I didn't really 
know how old she was, but if Dana was 37, then Mrs. Scully had to be in her 
late fifties.  That didn't bother me at all.  Age was irrelevant to me.

What was I thinking?   I was already thinking of her as a romantic interest.  Her 
age was irrelevant because she was just an acquaintance, the mother to one of 
my Agents.  This wasn't going to go anywhere.  Then why did I feel a slight 
sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I told myself that? I wondered.

She was silent a few moments but broke me out of my reverie when she 
whispered, "He loves her so much."

I straightened in my chair.  "He does?" I asked like a dunce.

She smiled again and I saw where Scully got her radiance.  "You didn't know 
that?" she asked, clearly amused.

"Actually, I've always wondered.  I've thought so at times, other times I wasn't 
sure.  Without any evidence to the contrary, I had to assume they weren't 
involved."

"Oh they aren't involved.  Not the way you mean, but they should be.  He loves 
her."

"Sometimes that's not enough," I said, thinking of Sharon and all the time I'd 
wasted thinking work was so important and ignoring the deterioration of my 
marriage to the point where we were strangers passing in the hall.

She gave me an odd questioning look, but then said, "That's not the shocker.  I 
think a lot of people recognize Fox's feelings.  He wears his heart on his sleeve.  
The part that no one seems to realize is," she said, stopping suddenly.

I leaned into her again without thinking.  She didn't tense up from her more 
relaxed sideways posture so I didn't move back.  "What?" I encouraged her.

Her eyes met mine then.  "Dana loves him too.  She's just too damn stubborn 
and closed off to admit it.  I don't even know if she's admitted it to herself.  I 
know she hasn't told him though."

"How do you know that?" I asked, genuinely curious.

She hiked an eyebrow up again and I smiled.  Together, we said, "Mothers know 
these things."

Then we laughed together and it felt so good.  I relaxed back into my chair as 
the caterers began to serve the dinner.  I had prime rib and she had chicken cord 
en bleu.  We ate in silence for a few minutes, sipping on our drinks.  A cocktail 
waitress came around and I ordered us each another drink.  She didn't protest to 
me being presumptuous.  That was refreshing.  

I was used to all the modern ladies of the Bureau who seemed insulted if you 
tried to be a gentleman, as if it somehow reflected on their abilities.  I knew 
some older men from the old school that did think women weren't as capable, 
but I certainly didn't feel that way.  That didn't mean I wasn't brought up to be a 
gentleman.  Nowadays you'd think you'd slapped them when you ordered for 
them or offered to pay for dinner.

After dinner, the DJ began playing oldies, light rock, folksy stuff, and some big 
band numbers as well.  Most of the crowd here was older and appreciated that 
there wasn't head banging music flying out of the stacked speakers at the end of 
the room.

A slow song began to play and I stood up, holding out my hand.  "Dance with 
me, Maggie?"

"You dance?" she asked.

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows.  "Just you wait and see, my lady."

She chuckled delightfully and got to her feet, taking my hand.  I had to swallow 
another gasp as that same feeling flooded through me.  Tingling warmth.  The 
hair on the back of my neck stood up, but not in the danger sense kind of way.  I 
looked down at her and she was gazing up at me, her mouth open, the tips of her 
top teeth flashing below her lip.  Her pink tongue darted out to lick her dry lips 
and I swallowed hard, feeling my groin tingle again.  What the hell was I doing?  

I gave her a pained smile and led her out onto the dance floor.  I was going to 
keep this proper, and put a hand on her waist and held her other hand in the air 
at our sides.  There was probably six inches between us.  She couldn't have been 
taller than five feet, four inches, and the top of her head hovered at my shoulder.  
I began to move into a waltz pattern.

Then she surprised me when she stepped into me, pulling our hands in and 
placing hers against my chest.  I rested my hand over hers, letting her decide 
how we would dance.  She didn't press into me but was close enough to brush 
against me and I felt a slight quiver in my legs.  What was wrong with me?  This 
was absolutely ridiculous.  I could do this.  'Buck up, soldier,' I told myself.

She followed me easily, her body barely brushing mine and driving me insane.  I 
could smell a slight citrus smell, and figured it must be her hair.  I leaned down 
and tried to stealthily smell her hair.  Yes, it was definitely her hair.  She must 
use some sort of citrus shampoo.  I realized we were dancing perfectly in sync.  
She obviously knew how to dance.  We glided around the dance floor easily.  I 
realized I was looking at nothing over her head as autopilot took over and I 
moved through the waltz. 

I took a deep breath and looked down at her.  At that same moment, she tipped 
her head back and looked up at me.  Our eyes locked together and I felt her 
breath cascade over my chin.  Her lips were so close and I was seized with an 
overwhelming desire to kiss her.  Lord, this was out of control.  "Maggie," I said 
and it came it out as a whisper.  I cleared my throat to try again.

I opened my mouth and she said, "Walter, what's going on?  You're looking at 
me funny."

I yanked my head up and away from her face.  "Sorry, just got distracted there 
for a minute."

"By what?" she asked innocently.

By what?  Good question.  Tell her something.  The couple in the corner.  You 
thought you recognized them.  I opened my mouth to deliver the lie and collided 
with her eyes again.  Without thinking I said, "By wanting to kiss you."

Her mouth opened and closed again, but no sound came out.  The song ended 
and I kicked myself mentally.  What a jerk!  By wanting to kiss you.  Oh yeah, 
that was good Walter.  What happened to the lie?  What happened to the fact 
that nothing was going on here.  What happened to being a gentleman.  

The song ended and I let go of her.  "I'm sorry, Maggie.  I don't know what's 
gotten into me tonight.  I'm not usually this clumsy.  Jesus, that was 
inappropriate.  I'm so sorry."

Next thing I knew I was across the dance floor and barreling out the front door 
of the VFW hall.  The brisk night air hit me like a bucket of cold water.  I 
shivered but never broke my stride as I headed for my Ford Explorer.  I heard 
footsteps on the gravel behind me.  

No, don't follow me, Maggie, I chanted in my head.  Don't follow me.  I have to 
get out of here before I do something we'll both regret.  I pulled my keys out and 
was reaching for the door when she caught up with me.  

Her tiny hands, both of them, gripped my forearm.  With surprising strength, she 
yanked me around to face her.  "Gentleman don't walk away from ladies and 
leave them standing on the dance floor alone," she spit at me. 

God, her cheeks were flushed with anger.  Her eyes were sparking and her chest 
was heaving with indignation.  She was absolutely gorgeous to me.  "Don't do 
this, Maggie," I croaked out.

"Don't do what?  Call you on your behavior, Walter?"

Why did I tell her to call me Walter?  Skinner was much less personal.  "Mrs. 
Scully.  Look, I apologize.  I'm not myself tonight. I  don't know why.  I didn't 
mean to be inappropriate with you."

"You weren't.  Now I'm back to Mrs. Scully?"

"Maggie, I'm sorry.  I should go now," I said, and started to turn.

"No!" she hollered and pulled me back to face her again.

"Maggie, let it go."  I looked pointedly at her hands on my forearm.  "Let go, 
Maggie," I nearly pleaded.

"No," she said softly this time.

"If you don't, I'm going to," I began.

"Going to what?" she demanded, her voice still soft, breathy.

My God.  Was she aroused like I was?  Could that be?  Impossible.  I'd shock 
her out of it.  I leaned into her face and growled, "If you don't let go of me I'm 
going to grab you back and kiss you VERY inappropriately."

She didn't move for a second and I thought I'd shocked her when her hands 
began to slide from my arm.  I felt the loss of her touch like a blow and gritted 
my teeth, looking over her shoulder, swallowing convulsively.

Then I felt it, her small hands sliding over my ribs and up my chest.  I looked 
down at her but she didn't stop.  They continued up until they slid around my 
shoulders to the back of my head.  Her nails scrapped slightly on my scalp in the 
hair at the back of my head.  I felt it all the way in my in my cock as the 
sensation of her touch shot down my spine.  "Maggie," I growled again.

She said, "Maybe I want you to be inappropriate, Mr. Skinner."

I looked into her eyes then, my hands migrating to her waist.  "Walter," I 
corrected her again.

Then I totally lost control.  I pulled her up against me, banding my arms around 
her waist.  My head fell and I covered her mouth with mine, moving my lips 
over hers.  They were soft, warm and wet and I moaned as her mouth opened 
and my tongue slid inside the warm cavern, licking her teeth.

She made this adorable whimpering sound and I tipped my head, deepening the 
kiss.  Somehow, I'd turned to lean on the side of my SUV.  My legs spread and 
slipped forward, so I was shorter.  She slipped easily between them.  

When she pressed against me, there was no longer any doubt about just how 
inappropriate I was being.  My cock was nearly fully erect and already straining 
against my zipper.  I grunted at the feel of her body against mine as her warmth 
seeped into me.  We stood there making out like teenagers.  I have no idea how 
much time passed.  My hands roamed up and down her back, even ventured 
down to cup her rear end and pull her tightly against me once.  I moaned, "We 
have to stop, Maggie."

"I know," she whispered against my lips and started kissing me once more.  I 
slipped my tongue into her mouth and pulled her against me again, pressing my 
now raging erection into her soft belly.

She groaned then, one of the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard.  "Oh God, Walter.  
We have to stop," she echoed me.  

I had to get a hold of myself.  We were standing in a public parking lot where 
anyone could see us.  I was fast losing control.  We weren't stopping.  I finally 
broke away from the kiss.

My hands slid to her hips and gently backed her away from me.  She was 
panting and flushed and beautiful.  "So beautiful," I whispered.

"Walter, that was amazing," she said and fell against me again.  We began to 
kiss again and my mind was telling me that I had to put a stop to this, but my 
body wasn't listening.

Just then, a high-pitched voice interrupted us.  "Maggie!  Is that you?"

"Oh Christ," she muttered, quickly disengaging from me and smoothing her 
hands over her dress.  She turned to face our intruder.  It was a woman with hair 
died an atrocious shade of tar black.  Her skin was pale and papery looking, so 
unlike Maggie's smooth, soft complexion.  I guessed her to be over sixty.  She 
was wearing bright red lipstick and had her eyebrows drawn on.  Standing next 
to Maggie the woman only made Maggie's natural beauty more evident.  

"I didn't know you were dating!" she squealed like a little girl.  "Oh, and he's so 
handsome too!"

Maggie looked mortified and I could tell that she was not fond of this woman 
who was way too excited over this.  That could only mean one thing.  She was a 
gossip.  The only way to handle them was to be very forward as though you had 
nothing to hide.  People that whispered behind other people's backs or delighted 
in embarrassing others generally could not tolerate scrutiny or boldness.

I straightened, stepped forward, and stuck out my hand, feeling my erection die 
a quick death in my pants.  I was almost grateful.  "Walter Skinner.  And you 
are?" I inquired.

She literally backed up a step and I glanced at Maggie to see her lips pressed 
together trying to suppress a smile.  Her embarrassment seemed to have fled. 
"Uh, I'm, Uh, Judy."

"Judy what?" I asked in my best A.D. voice.

"Phillips, Judy Phillips," she repeated, licking her lips and smearing her cheap 
lipstick.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Judy.  I have to get going though."

"Oh yes, well, nice to meet you too," she said, shifting her weight from one foot 
to the other.  I could tell she liked to compete with Maggie.  I had run into her 
kind a thousand times over.  There was no comparison, but I decided to rub it in.

I turned and put my arm around Maggie's waist.  I leaned down and said, "Good 
night, beautiful.  I'll call you tomorrow."

She blushed to the roots of her hair and I kissed her deeply for a few seconds 
and then smiled.  I winked at her and opened the door, jumping into my SUV.  

As I drove off I thought, 'Whew, I just barely escaped crossing a serious line 
there.'

Then why did I feel so empty all of a sudden?


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 4 (R )
XXXXXXXXXX
WALTER SKINNER'S CONDO
CRYSTAL PLACE APARTMENTS
1801 CRYSTAL DRIVE
ARLINGTON, VA

I replayed every touch, every rub, every kiss, and every word on the way home.  
By the time I walked into my apartment, my erection was back in full forth.  I 
locked the door and didn't even bother turning on any lights.

I headed straight for the bedroom.  I stripped quickly, smelling her citrus scent 
on my shirt.  I crawled into bed naked, dragging the shirt behind me.

I gripped myself firmly and stroked, imagining it was her little hand on my 
shaft.  I spread precum over the sensitive helmet when it appeared.  I groaned 
feeling the phantom press of her body against me, the feel of her ass in my 
hands.  

I stroked hard and fast, my hand soon a blur and inhaled her scent off my shirt.  I 
shouted as my balls spasmed for the first time in months and let loose with a 
jarring climax that left me feeling weak and shaken.  I knew I should do his 
more often to say sexually healthy, but I was usually so exhausted after work 
that I would just fall into bed.
 
This was almost scary.  No woman had affected me like this since I was a 
teenager.  I was a lot of things, but I was a long, long ways from being a 
teenager.  I was 50 years old, and jacking off to a recent make out session like I 
was sixteen and was brushed off at the end of the night by my date I was trying 
to talk into going to third base with me.  I cleaned myself up with tissues felt an 
emptiness I hadn't allowed myself to feel in a long time.

I sighed, tossing my shirt over the side of the bed.  If I kept it here, it would keep 
me awake all night.  I was tired.  It must be the all the adrenaline and arousal.  I 
relaxed into the sheets and fell asleep within minutes.  That hadn't happened in 
years.  It usually took me a good hour to quiet my mind enough to release me 
into sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX
MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOUSE
BETHESDA, MD
THAT SAME NIGHT

I was weary and confused.  It was like someone else had taken me over tonight 
and was sending my body signals that I thought were long dead.  I had to think 
clearly about this.  I could be writing checks I wouldn't be able to cash.  A 
relationship with Dana's boss could be disastrous.  

Oh, but he had felt so good pressed against me.  I couldn't believe I'd excited 
him.  There was no mistaking the evidence though.  Hot and throbbing, his 
erection had felt so good.  The evidence of his arousal, his desire for me had 
been staggering.  I'd felt traitorous tears cloud my vision when he'd pulled away 
from me and practically ran out the door.  

I had no idea what had made me run after him like some lovesick schoolgirl.  
The smart thing to do would have been to let him leave, walk out of there and 
never look back.  The smart thing would have been to realize that he was trying 
to be a gentleman and not enter into something neither of us had expected or 
was ready for.

What did I really know about him anyway?  Dana trusted him.  I knew that.  
She'd told me he was an honest man, that he was a man of integrity and honor.  
There was something so darkly alluring about those sad, brown eyes.

Dana wasn't the only one who was lonely.  So was Walter.  I'd seen that in his 
eyes.  He wasn't as unreadable as he thought himself to be.  Despite our size 
difference, we seemed to fit together so well.  It didn't make any sense, this 
animal attraction that had flared for him.  Out of nowhere, it had hit me in the 
head and run away with me.  

I didn't do this sort of thing!  I was fifty-eight years old!  I didn't get all aroused 
from dancing with a handsome man.  I was a mother of four grown children.  I 
was a widow looking forward to the golden years, relaxing into hobbies for the 
rest of my life.  With Bill's pension, I was able to survive and pay my bills.  I 
couldn't afford vacations or anything fancy, but I could go do things once in 
while for fun.  I went to flower shows, occasionally to the movies with a friend.

I was content.  Wasn't I?  I had everything I needed.  It shouldn't feel right to be 
this attracted to a man a mere three years after becoming a widow.  

Then again, what was I supposed to do?  Spend the rest of my life alone?  I had 
planned on living alone, hadn't I?  I thought for a moment and realized that if the 
truth were told, I hadn't thought this through at all.  Oh, when Bill first died, I'd 
wondered what it would be like to live the rest of my life without him.  I'd 
wondered if I was capable of it.  The grief had been nearly overwhelming.  
Nonetheless, I had forced myself to go on with my life, for my children, for my 
grandchildren.

A mere month ago, I'd been telling myself that I needed to move on, find more 
hobbies, get out in the world more, or at least figure out what I was going to do 
for the rest of my life.  I might be older, but I wasn't dead.

At the same time, I hadn't realized just how lonely I was until tonight.  Crawling 
into my cold bed and hearing the silence of the house around me, I felt sadness 
wash over me.  I wanted a relationship and I wanted one with Walter.  I might 
even need it.  The real question was if it was a smart thing to do.  There were 
lots of men out there, widowers and others.  I sighed.  They didn't attract me 
though.  I felt nothing when they talked to me.  I'd felt no attraction, no spark 
with anyone, until now.  Until Walter came along tonight and nearly swept me 
off my feet.

I had no one to blame but myself.  I could have let him go.  However, if I were 
truthful, a few seconds after he disappeared out the door, I knew I couldn't let 
him go like that.  Something told me that I would regret it for the rest of my life 
if I didn't go after him.  I was so sure in that moment. I  hadn't questioned it, I'd 
just run after him.  I grabbed him, literally and made him look at me.

The look of anguish on his face nearly did me in.  I saw it then.  He hadn't run 
cause he was a lout.  He had run because he was scared.  In that moment, he had 
wanted something he didn't think he should want.  He'd wanted something he 
couldn't understand any more than I could.  I'd wanted it too. 

When he growled that he would kiss me if I didn't let go of him, something had 
happened to me that didn't make any sense.  I'd felt something I hadn't felt in so 
long, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

I'd gotten wet.  I'd felt the warm tingling gush of moisture between my legs that 
I hadn't felt for years.  My knees had nearly buckled as it took me over and I told 
him that I might not want him to be appropriate with me.  

I was an 'appropriate' woman. I had been all my life.  In that moment though, I'd 
wanted a lot of things, and being appropriate hadn't been one of them.  Those 
kisses had nearly undone me.

What would have happened if nosey Judy Phillips hadn't interrupted?  Would I 
have gone home with him?  Would I have slept with him if he'd asked?  It was a 
first date!  Oh, H-E-double toothpicks!  It wasn't even a date.  It was a chance 
encounter and I'd ended up groping him like some sex-crazed teenager.

What he must think of me!  I rolled over and pulled the covers up to my chin.  
Admit it, I told myself.  You want to see him again.  Admit it, you won't be able 
to say no if he does actually call.  Although I know his words were a show for 
Judy, I wondered if he would call.  I wanted him to call, but I didn't want him 
call.  I was so confused.  Was I ready for this?

Admit it.  I was a goner, and we hadn't even had a real date.

XXXXXXXXXX

I was dreaming that I was making love to Bill.  When I opened my eyes I 
gasped, because it wasn't Bill above me, it was Walter.  I'd stiffened wondering 
why I was cheating on Bill.  What would make me do such a thing?  Then I 
remembered.  Bill was dead.  Walter was here.  Walter had kissed me and now 
he was making slow, passionate love to me.  

Somehow I knew I was dreaming and I didn't want to wake up.  The phone was 
ringing and Walter whispered, "Let it ring."

I tried to ignore it but it wouldn't stop ringing.  One of these days, I had to leap 
into the twenty-first century and get an answering machine.  I groaned as I came 
awake, the specter of Walter Skinner disappearing with the light of day.

I rolled over and fumbled for the phone, nearly knocking it onto the floor.  
"Hello?" I said in a sleep-ravaged voice.

[It's a bad time.  I'll call back later,] a deep baritone slipped into my ear.

I relaxed back onto my pillow, holding the phone to my ear.  "Walter?"

[Yeah, sorry to wake you.]

"What time is it?" I asked.

[About 9:00 AM I guess.]

"Oh geez.  I never sleep this late!" I exclaimed.  I've always been an early riser, 
usually out of bed with the chickens, six-thirty at the latest, even with no alarm.

[Did you have a late night?] he teased.

I groaned in mock despair.  "As a matter of fact, the weirdest thing happened," I 
countered.

His voice got a little raspier, [Oh yeah, what happened?]

"This handsome man, much younger than I am kept me out late dancing."

[Just dancing?] he asked, playing along.

"Well, then we made out in the parking lot like teenagers for a while.  I totally 
lost track of time," I said.

[Is that so?] he asked.

"Yeah, it might be an X-File.  I should alert the Assistant Director.  I think I lost 
some time there."

He laughed softly in my ear and I shivered. 

[I think you got one thing wrong,] he said.

"What's that?" I asked quietly.

[He's not that much younger than you.  In fact, he was surprised by how much 
the woman,] he stopped.

"What?  How much the woman, what?" I heard myself coax.

There was silence for a moment and I was about to say his name and tell him he 
didn't have to tell me anything he didn't want to.  Before I could get the words 
out, he said, [I was surprised by how much you excited me.]

I wondered if he realized he'd said 'I' and 'you'.  He dropped out of the pretend 
game.  No more teasing.  "Oh yeah?" I asked.  How clever, I thought to myself.

[Yeah, it took me by surprise.]

"That you were attracted to me?" I asked, feeling a dart of hurt.

[No, I've always thought you were a beautiful woman.]

"You have?"

[Of course.  I was just surprised at my lack of self-control,] he said finally.

"I wasn't displaying a lot of higher thought myself," I joined.

He chuckled again.  [What happened, Maggie?]

There it was, the question I'd been waiting for.  I didn't have an answer.  "I don't 
know," I said quietly.

[I'm not surprised I find you attractive.  Although, I must admit the chemistry 
rocked me back on my heels a bit.]

I chuckled this time.  "Yeah, that was pretty startling."

The silence grew uncomfortable after that.  I was about to say good-bye and I'll 
see you later, or talk to you later, or anything to give us a mature way out of this 
conversation.  Instead, he went forward where I was afraid to go.  [Do you want 
to see me again, Maggie?] he asked.

I could hear the hesitation in his voice.  Was there hope in there too?  "Is it smart 
to do this?  I mean, is it smart for the two of us, being who we are to risk a ... 
whatever this might be?"  I didn't want to say the word relationship and put a 
label on it.

He was quiet again.  [I didn't ask if it was smart.]

"No, I did," I reminded him stupidly.

[Maggie, forget about whether it's smart for a minute.]  He paused.  [Tell me 
what you WANT.  Do you want to see me again?]

I swallowed heavily and took a breath.  I should lie.  I should tell him this wasn't 
smart or I wasn't ready so soon after Bill, or something.  Instead, I found I 
couldn't lie to this man.  "Yes, I want to see you again," I whispered.

I heard him suck in a noisy breath.  Was that relief I was hearing or sensing over 
the phone line?  [Can we meet for lunch?] he asked tentatively.

"Today?" I asked, feeling stupid again.

[Yeah, today.  Or if that's not good, any day you're free.]

"Where did you want to meet?  I mean, I don't think we should meet anywhere 
that I might run into my daughter."

[How about the Crystal Café in Arlington?]

"What time?" I asked.

[Does 12:30 this afternoon work for you?]

"Yeah, I'll see you there."

[Good.  I'll see you soon.]

We were both silent not wanting to end the call.  Finally, I said, "Good bye, 
Walter.  I'll see you in a few hours."

I rolled over and gently laid the handset into the cradle of the phone.  I sighed.  
What was I getting into?

With a grunt, I levered up in the bed.  My feet hurt from wearing the heels the 
night before.  I needed a shower.  I sighed again and got up, heading for the 
bathroom, and already trying to figure out what I should wear.

XXXXXXXXXX

CRYSTAL CITY BAR & GRILL
ARLINGTON, VA
TWO WEEKS LATER
FRIDAY NIGHT

We'd been meeting for lunch almost every other day now for two weeks. This 
was our second evening out together since that first dinner at the VFW.  We had 
put in an appearance at the VFW hall and then ducked out to be together away 
from the crowd.

She looked elegant in the simple light, gray dress she was wearing.  The 
sapphire studs in her ears twinkled when they hit the light and nearly matched 
the color of her eyes.  

Every time we met for lunch, we ended up making out for ten minutes before I 
could pull myself away to go back to work.  We always met outside of D.C., not 
wanting to run into Mulder and Scully.  They were out of town this weekend on 
a case in Georgia.

She was driving me crazy with lust.  I had jerked off more in the last two weeks 
than I had in the last two years.  It was insane.  She deserved to be courted and 
romanced.  She was a classy lady.  She didn't deserve to be mauled in diner 
parking lots, but I couldn't seem to help myself.  

I watched her eat her brownie with ice cream on top.  I wanted jump across the 
table and lick the ice cream off her lips.  I couldn't wait to get out of here. 

She looked up at me self-consciously.  "I can't get used to you staring at me," 
she said.

"Sorry," I muttered, forcing my eyes away.

Her hand came up to cup my chin.  "No long face, Walter.  It's O.K.  It's 
flattering.  I'm just not used to it."

"Are you done?" I asked.

She laid her fork down.  "Yes, we can get the check," she said, reaching for her 
purse.  I put a hand on her arm and felt the instant jolt that I always felt when I 
touched her.

"I'm paying," I said simply.  We always went Dutch for lunch, but I wanted to 
treat her to dinner if she would let me.

"You don't have to do that, Walter."

"I know I don't.  I want to.  Please, just let me get this."

She hesitated but then said, "All right."

I smiled and waved down our waiter.  Less than ten minutes later, we were in 
the car.  I started it up but didn't pull out.  Last time we had dinner, I had simply 
taken her home afterwards and kissed her silly on her front porch, alternately 
wishing for an invitation and hoping she wouldn't invite me in. 

"What's wrong, Walter?"

I took a deep breath and decided to go for it.  "Do you want to come to my place 
for coffee?" I asked quickly.

She didn't answer right away and I turned to look at her.  She was staring at me, 
knowing the invitation was for much more than coffee.  I saw desire in her eyes.  
I also saw fear. 

Wanting to reassure her, I said, "Maggie, I won't do anything you don't want to 
do.  You know that don't you?"

"Yes, Walter.  I know that.  I just don't know if I'm ready."

I nodded.  "That's all right.  I'm just not ready for this evening to end."  I reached 
out and cupped her slender neck in my palm.  She shivered at my touch and it 
ignited something in me again.  I couldn't believe the way she reacted to me.  It 
was a heady feeling to see a beautiful woman aroused by your touch, or even 
affected by it.  "I want to spend more time together, Maggie.  Tonight, I mean.  
It's early.  I'm not ready for the evening to end.  If all you want is coffee, coffee 
is all you'll get.  Plus, I'd like to show you my place anyway.  I want you to 
know where I live."

This seemed to relax and convince her.  "O.K.  Let's go for coffee and see this 
place of yours."


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 5 (NC-17)
XXXXXXXXXX
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
CRYSTAL CITY APARTMENTS
1801 CRYSTAL DRIVE
ARLINGTON, VA

I walked in and turned on a light so she could see.  She stepped inside slowly, 
letting the door swing shut behind her.  I reached over her shoulder to lock it and 
she turned, putting herself right in my face.  

I looked back at her and said, "Take off your coat.  Be comfortable.  I'll get the 
coffee going."

"O.K.," she said shyly, removing her coat and hanging it on the coat tree by the 
door.

I went into the kitchen and stood gripping the counter, taking deep breaths.  She 
was here.  God, I wanted her so badly, I could scream.  I had to keep it together.  
I didn't want to scare her off.  I knew if we took this step, we would eventually 
have to tell Scully what was going on.  It was a calculated risk.

I knew she respected me, maybe she even liked me as a boss.  I had no idea how 
she would react to me dating her widowed mother.  I knew how close Scully had 
been with her father.  Maggie had told me.  It was one of the many things she'd 
told me about her children.  I'd learned a lot of things that I knew would make 
Scully uncomfortable if she knew that I was privy to them.  There was nothing 
to be done about it now.

I scrambled to make the coffee, realizing I'd been wool-gathering and she was 
waiting for me.  I got it going and returned to the living room.  She was looking 
around and had stopped at the pictures of the kids I had on the desk in the 
corner.  "Who's children?" she asked, turning to me.

"My brother, Stepan's.  My niece is six, and my nephew is eight."

"Cute kids," she said. 

"Yeah, they are.  He's my younger brother, much younger."  We'd had a long 
discussion about our age difference one night.  I'd eventually convinced her that 
eight years was nothing.  We were both mature adults and if we were going to 
have issues, age wasn't going to be one of them.

"How old is he?"

"He's thirty-eight now.  My mother had him when she was thirty-seven.  
Thought she was all done.  He was a bit of an oops."

Maggie chuckled and replaced the picture.  I waved her over to sit on the couch.  
She did and I followed, sinking down onto the cushion and leaving a little 
distance between us.  I wanted her but I didn't want her to feel crowded or 
pushed.  She was worth waiting for and if we were together, I wanted to make 
sure she was ready and she wanted it as much as I did.  That didn't make it easy.

"So you have other siblings?" she asked.

"Yes, two.  A sister, Katerina, and another brother, Nikolai."

"Very Russian," she stated.

"Yeah, my parents were Russian immigrants."

"Are you the oldest?"

"No, Nikolai is the oldest.  He's 54.  Katerina is 52, and I'm 50."

"All two years apart."  She turned slightly to look at the picture of Stepan and 
his two kids.  "And then there's Stepan."

"Right.  I was the baby for a long time," I said.

She smiled.  "I can't picture that.  I bet you made sure everyone knew who was 
really in charge?"

"What makes you say that?  My charm and wit?" I joked.

She laughed.  It was a wonderful tinkling sound of amusement and I reached out 
for her.  The feeling was welling up in me.  I wasn't going to push, but I wasn't 
going to hide it or tamp it down anymore either.  She needed to see how much I 
wanted this.  It had only been two weeks, but we had known each other before.  
I knew that was just making excuses.

The fact of the matter was, I knew how I felt about her already.  I was falling in 
love with her, fast and hard.  There were no brakes on this train.  That possibility 
was shattered the first time she kissed me in that parking lot.  I was a cooked 
man.  Stick a fork in me.  I was done.

Her hands came up around my neck.  "Maggie, I think its only fair to warn you 
that I'm really falling for you."

"Falling?"

"Who am I kidding?  I fell, the first time you kissed me.  The chemistry we 
have, it's overwhelming sometimes and we haven't even," I said cutting myself 
off.

"Made love?" she queried softly.

"Yeah," I said, my voice thick and rough.

"It's all happened so fast, Walter.  I feel like we're on this run away train and I 
should be looking for the brakes."

'Was she reading my mind with the train analogies?' I wondered.  "We're not 
gonna crash, Maggie," I said with conviction.

She looked into my eyes.  "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive.  I think, as crazy as this sounds, that this thing between us was 
meant to be.  We've both been alone for a long time.  Even when I was married, 
I was alone.  I'm older now, a bit mellower, and I'm ready to settle into a 
relationship again.  I want that relationship to be with you, Maggie."

"I can't stop thinking about you," she admitted.  "I just don't know what's going 
to happen and it frightens me.  You have to understand, it's not that I don't want 
this with you, but I was with the same man for 40 years."  Her eyes begged me 
to understand.  "I was a virgin when I married, Walter."

I gasped slightly, not really finding it a surprise, but suddenly very turned on by 
the fact that she'd only ever been with one other man.  "I want to be the second, 
Maggie.  Whenever you're ready," I said carefully.

She stared at me for a few minutes, my hands resting on her waist.  "I'm scared, 
Walter."

"Don't be scared.  I would never hurt you."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"  I realized she was trembling slightly.

"I've tried to take good care of myself, Walter, but the fact remains that I'm 58 
years old.  Whatever it looks like on the surface, the body under these clothes is 
58 years old too, and has given birth to four children."

I smiled, suddenly realizing what the problem was.  "You're beautiful to me, 
Maggie.  I don't care about the package.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't find the 
package attractive."

She laughed nervously and blushed slightly.  "Walter, I'm afraid I won't be 
enough, or what you expect.  I don't want to disappoint you.  I loved my life 
with Bill, but it wasn't exactly wild and crazy, other than moving from port to 
port."

"Are you telling me your sex life was fairly standard and vanilla?" I asked.  I 
was trying not to be crude.

"Yes, that's what I'm telling you."

"How about you tell me what you've done that you would be comfortable with."

She looked away, blinking rapidly.  "I can't do that!"

"Why not?  If I'm going to be your lover, I'll find out anyway.  I'm not turned off 
by that Maggie.  Everyone is different anyway.  You have to learn each other, 
and what each other like best.  It's part of the process.  Nobody expects you to be 
Houdini or telepathic about my needs.  Remember, I'm no spring chicken 
myself."

She laughed again, this time less nervously.  "Well, I sometimes wondered what 
some things would be like.  However, Bill was a pretty conventional guy and he 
usually vetoed most of the ideas I brought up, not that I brought up a lot.  I 
stopped asking, not wanting him to think I was a loose woman or complaining 
or something."

"No fears here.  I know your not.  Maggie, times have changed.  That was then, 
this is now.  It's acceptable to be free about your sexuality.  I don't mean throw it 
around like pearls before swine," I continued.

She laughed again.

"However, I mean that nothing you could want would turn me off."  I stared at 
her and realized that wasn't the problem at all.  "It's not that, is it?"

She shook her head.

"You're afraid I'll want something you're not willing to give?"

She nodded.

"Aww, baby.  Come here."  I pulled her into my arms.  I cooed into her hair, 
pressing her head to my chest.  "Maggie, I'd never ask you for something you 
didn't want to give.  I might ask, but if you were uncomfortable, that would be 
the end of it.  I'm not a pusher.  I would never do that."

"But what if that disappointed you?  What if I wasn't enough?"

I tipped her chin up with two fingers so she was looking at me again.  "Maggie, 
this isn't a contest."  I took a deep breath and just said it.  "I'm in love with you, 
Maggie.  I want to show you.  I want to express that by making love to you.  
That's all."

She began to cry silent tears.  "Oh God," she whispered finally. 

I slowly lowered my lips to hers, giving her a chance to pull away.  She began to 
kiss me back.  It was languid, slow and deep and I moaned as her tongue flicked 
out to entangle with mine.  I was getting hard.  It might be another hard night 
with a cold shower, but I was willing to take that chance.  We finally broke the 
kiss minutes later when air was necessary.  I whispered, "How can anything that 
feels this good be wrong, Maggie?"

She bit her lower lip and stood up.  She looked shaky but held out her hand.  I 
knew my eyes must be huge as I stared at her.  I felt my groin pulse and harden a 
bit more.  "Maggie?"

"Take me to bed, Walter."

I stood up, taking both of her hands.  "Are you sure, Maggie?  I want you to 
want this as much as I do.  I want you to be comfortable, and not feel pushed."

She smiled and hugged me.  "You're such a noble man, Walter Skinner."

I chuckled.  "I don't know about noble, but this is important to me, Maggie."

"I know."  She pulled away, keeping one hand in mine and tugging gently. 

I took over and led her to the bedroom door.  We passed through and I closed it 
behind her.  Not that anyone was here, but I thought she'd  probably feel more 
comfortable without the door hanging open.  I turned on the three-way lamp and 
set the lighting on the low setting.  

We kissed again.  I held back, being tender and slow.  I wanted this to be good 
for her.  It had to be, or she might run from me forever.  That was a possibility I 
didn't even want to consider.  I knew I was a big man and I didn't want to scare 
her.  Then again, Bill Scully had not been a small man either.

I turned her around, her back to me.  I kissed her neck as I unzipped her dress.  I 
made no attempt to take it off, sliding my hands inside the gaping flaps and 
sliding them around to her front.

"Oh," escaped from her softly.  

I kissed her neck again and moved up to suckle on her earlobe.  

She moaned softly.  

I turned her around to face me.  She might be more comfortable or feel more in 
control if I was undressed first.  I forced myself to go slowly, even though I 
wanted to rip that dress off her and throw her down on my king size bed.  I 
started to unbutton my shirt.  

She stepped forward and took over the task as I rubbed my hands up and down 
from her waist to her hips and back again, dislodging a shoulder of the dress and 
causing it to fall down her arm.  A gentle curve of the top of her breast was 
visible and I bent forward and sprinkled butterfly kisses across her chest.

I understood her fear, but she honestly had nothing to worry about.  I was no 
teenager.  I knew what her body would be.  I knew she would be soft.  I knew 
she would have stretch marks from her pregnancies, I knew there would be 
weight to her breasts.  None of these things would turn me off.  I found all that 
attractive.  Those were her battle scars, just like I had mine.  

Her hands roamed over my chest and I groaned and went back to kissing her 
lips.  She slid my shirt off my shoulders and I shook it off my arms, letting it 
fall.  She gasped a little, her hands returning to my chest, now that she was 
staring at it.  

She liked what she saw, I could tell.  That made my ego boost up a bit.  It also 
made my groin throb.  Long minutes passed as we finished undressing one 
another.  When she was in nothing but her panties and I was in nothing but my 
boxer briefs, I moved her gently to the bed and laid her down. 

I didn't move over her, I lay next to her.  I moved to her face and kissed again, 
my hand roaming over her stomach.  I slowly made my way up to cup her 
breast.  They were surprisingly generous on her petite frame.  I lightly kissed her 
nipple, making her gasp.  "Beautiful," I whispered, knowing she needed the 
reassurance.

I slid my boxers off my hips with my free hand, and began lowering her panties.  
She lifted her hips to help me and I pulled them off.  She sat up partially and 
pulled my boxers the rest of the way off, tossing them over the side of the bed.  
She lay back down and then reached for me.

She wrapped her hand around my partially erect shaft.  I bucked involuntarily 
into her hand and moaned.  The older I got, the longer it took to get me fully 
excited.  "Oh God, Maggie.  Yes, touch me, please."

She didn't hesitate and began stroking me firmly.  I grew to full size and she 
gasped again.  "You got in the right line when they were handing out these, 
didn't you?" she breathed out.

I began to laugh.  I couldn't help it.  It wasn't that important, but I was happy that 
she was pleased with my package.  When I snorted, she began to laugh with me.  
We giggled like kids and I kissed her hard.  "God, Maggie.  You make me 
crazy."

It had been a long time since I had laughed in bed with a woman.  I couldn't 
remember the last time, which meant it had been WAY too long.  

XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

My shaft began to throb with an ungodly surge.  It'd never felt anything like it.  
It was almost unnerving the way it burned under her touch.  I could feel a 
strange weight from inside my groin.  My cock grew warmer and throbbed 
harder with every passing minute.

My body was electrified as she continued to torture my cock.  I kept throbbing 
and growing harder.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this hard, or this 
aroused.  Without warning, my cock jerked violently in her hand, surging up 
into her palm.

I gritted my teeth and gently grasped her wrist, pulling it away.  "Stop, Maggie.  
I have to slow down."  I removed my glasses and tossed them onto the 
nightstand.  Then I rolled back toward her.

She smiled devilishly and I felt warmth spread through my chest.  My hand slid 
down and over her mound, which was covered with short, brown, curly hair.  
Near her apex, the curls were damp and I moaned as I buried my nose in her 
neck and kissed the juncture where her neck met her shoulder.

Her breathing was increasing and I slid a finger down carefully, parting her labia 
and feeling moisture coat my finger.  Oh yeah, she was excited.  She moaned 
and kissed my shoulder, her hands becoming active and exploring my back, 
chest, and sides.  She slid around to the back and even squeezed my ass cheek, 
making me absolutely crazy.

I decided I should talk to her if I could get my vocal chords to work.  I didn't 
want her to think I was just a rutting pig at this point.  "God, Maggie, you excite 
me so much."

"I know, ditto," she murmured.  I slid a finger inside her and felt her warm 
channel clamp down at the invasion.  We both moaned.  

"Relax, let me in," I whispered in a choked voice.  She relaxed and I stroked her 
slowly, pulling her lubrication out and smearing it over her lips.  After doing this 
several times, she was pushing into my hand, seeking more contact.  "Do you 
want me to kiss you here?" I asked, wigging my finger inside her.

She moaned and blushed, the flush covering her chest.  I could see freckles 
scattered over her chest and breasts.  She was so lovely, a natural beauty, her full 
lips swollen with arousal and from my nipping.  "No, not this time," she said.  
"Make love to me, Walter."

Nearly weeping with a mixture of relief and arousal, I slid between her legs and 
she raised them up over my hips.  I hiked them higher around my waist.  She 
was so petite and looked small under me.  I felt a rush of protectiveness flow 
through me and I kissed her for a minute, my throbbing shaft finally finding her 
entrance and seating itself there, rubbing gently, feeling her liquid coat the 
helmet of my shaft.

"Now," she whispered.

That one word had my lust flaring to life again and I pushed gently, feeling her 
labia collapse and then spread to let me in.  I popped the head in and stopped as 
she leaned her head back on the pillow and moaned.  "Been so long," she 
whispered.

I cooed, "We'll go slow.  Take your time."

She panted a couple of deep breaths and then nodded.  I began pushing slowly 
but steadily.  I took my weight on my forearm and elbow and leaned on one hip, 
watching myself disappear inside her.  I put a hand on the small pouch of her 
tummy and rubbed gently as I entered.  This elicited a whimper from her and I 
let my thumb drift down to brush over her clitoris.  I arched her back and pulled 
her legs against my back.  I sank in to the hilt and I moaned like I was dying.

"Feels so good, Maggie!" I said through clenched teeth.

We stayed like that for a minute just enjoying the feeling of penetration.  
Finally, she wiggled her hips and I began to slowly pump into her in short 
strokes.  I lengthened them slowly but kept my slow pace.  Soon I was nearly 
retreating all the way, leaving just the head of my cock inside and then sliding 
back in until I felt my balls brush her ass.  

I leaned my head on the pillow next to her ear, and licked the shell.  She gasped 
and began thrusting against me harder, meeting me stroke for stroke.  My hands 
slid down to cup her ass cheeks, pulling her against me fully with every stroke.  
My shoulder was taking my weight and I didn't care.  The feeling of her butt 
cheeks in my hands was exquisite.  At the bottom of each stroke I would grind 
myself against her pubic bone gently.  

I was apparently hitting the right spot, because she began to moan deeply, her 
sounds increasing in volume.  Soon she was rolling her head back and forth on 
the pillow, her hair tickling my face.  Her hands were on the back of my head, 
her nails scraping lightly through my ring of hair sending shivers down my spine 
as I pumped slowly but powerfully into her.

She took me all the way in, pushing back against me and I felt myself losing a 
little control.  Her throaty moans made me crazy.  This was so intense it was 
unreal.  It wasn't frantic.  It wasn't crazy.  It was just INTENSE.  Every stroke 
sent sensations rushing through my body. I was groaning in concert with her 
moans and the sounds echoed off the bedroom walls.

XXXXXXXXXX

Oh. My. God.  It was never like this with Bill, I thought.  Then guilt shot 
through me for a moment at that thought.  It didn't last long.  The next full, 
powerful stroke that buried his enormous shaft in my body made me lose my 
grasp on any thought of all.  I heard myself moaning, unable to believe those 
sounds were coming from me.  

Bill had mostly used the missionary position.  I rarely orgasmed that way, so he 
would usually let me be on top every few times so I would be satisfied.  I'd 
thought that was generous and caring of him to consider me like that; every few 
times.  I was fast realizing that we had shared love, and mutual respect for sure, 
but pure passion hadn't been there.  This was passion in its purest form.

I could feel his love and lust for me rolling off him as he pumped that beautiful 
ass up and down, grinding his big equipment into me, making my insides scream 
with pleasure.

The hair on his stomach tickled my belly as he retreated and pushed deeply 
inside.  My hands roamed his chest but then just held onto his big biceps for 
dear life as he pushed me toward my climax.  I'd had no expectations that I 
would climax.  When he'd opted for the missionary position, I'd calmly accepted 
that I would enjoy this but it wouldn't be a night I would find release.

How wrong I was.  It was close.  I could feel it building in the pit of my stomach 
and at the base of my spine, at the tender apex of my thighs and the tightening 
muscles of my vagina.

This was so INTENSE!  His hand slid under my knee, as he leaned on one hip.  
He raised my one leg higher, hiked up on his knees just a bit and then stroked 
into me fully again, pressing my butt into the mattress.

New sensations washed through me.  My nipples were harder than I ever 
remember them getting during intercourse.  They ached.  I couldn't stand the 
ache.  I never believed in the G-spot, but by God, there was no other explanation 
for the sensations ripping through my womb.  By George, I think he's got it! I 
thought with a silly rush of humor and sensation.

I smiled at my own whimsy and opened my eyes to find him smiling down at 
me.  His eyes were nearly black with arousal and his pupils were so dilated.  His 
voice was rough and laden with arousal.  He kept pumping, his speed increasing 
slightly.  "Oh yeah, beautiful.  Come for me, baby.  Come on.  Let it go.  I want 
to feel you come with me inside you.  Ah, Maggie, Jesus, this is incredible."

My throaty moans filled the room and I was suddenly assaulted with a searing 
wave of orgasmic pleasure.  It hit me with a fury and I arched my back, crying 
out with a deep howl of triumph as I felt my body convulse around him and 
quiver with the relief of my release.

He shouted but kept pumping.  "Oh YES!"  He stroked harder and faster, 
pushing me further into the pleasure and prolonging it.  It swept me away as 
light flashed behind my eyelids and I fell over the abyss in a second orgasm that 
came close on the heels of the first.  The second one was quicker but even more 
overwhelming, leaving me shaken to the core with its speed and intensity.  "Oh 
my God!  Wwaalltteerr!" I cried out.  

When I regained my senses I realized that he had stopped.  I lazily opened my 
eyes and he smiled at me.  He leaned down to kiss me gently and tenderly and I 
felt tears prick my eyelids.  He was being so tender and careful with me, like I 
was a treasure.

He was still hot and hard inside me.  He gave me a mischievous grin and began 
to grind his pubic bone against me with a little twisting motion of his hips.  I 
began to pant immediately feeling little shocks of pleasure zap me with every 
press on my now tender clitoris.  "Walter, please!" I begged, not even knowing 
what I was asking for.

"Please what?" he asked, his voice teasing.  

"Oh God, I can't take it.  I want you to come.  I want to watch you come," I 
blurted out, surprised at my own audacity.

He chuckled, a sexy sound and began to pump me again.  I looked down and my 
head swam at the sight of thick member pressing deeply inside and spreading 
me deliciously.  I felt his balls slap my butt each time.  They were tight now and 
pulled up against his shaft.  I knew he had to be close.  Without warning, he 
grasped me and rolled, never pulling out.  I found myself on top of him, 
straddling him with wide spread legs.  I braced my hands on his chest and began 
to ride him.

Slowly at first I posted up and down, then with increasing speed.  His hands 
squeezed my breasts while his fingers tortured my nipples with small pinches 
and swipes of his thumbs.  Then he pressed a hand between my shoulder blades 
and pulled me down as he curled up, flexing the thick muscles in his abs, taking 
my nipple into his mouth and sucking gently, his rough tongue lapping at the 
tender pebble hard surface.

I cried out, feeling another climax approaching.  That had never happened!  Our 
bodies were now slick with sweat and holding on was slightly tougher as he 
relaxed back down on the bed.

He grasped my hips, helping to guide me as he pushed back against each of my 
strokes.  His hand moved and pushed my swollen clitoris against our joining and 
I shrieked as the pleasure of another climax crashed over me in waves.  I fell 
head long over the abyss.  The joy of complete surrender to this passion 
surrounded me and I milked his beautiful body with the most powerful orgasm 
I'd ever experienced, moaning, crying out nonsense and crying for the intensity 
of it.

I felt him stiffen finally below me and managed to make my mouth work one 
last time.  I said, "Come inside me, Walter.  Come for me."

He bellowed and began to buck savagely beneath me, my words apparently 
making him lose all control.  I shuddered with aftershocks and he rolled again 
and sank his long, wide shaft deep inside me again.  He pounded and pounded.  
He wasn't stopping.


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 6 (NC-17)
XXXXXXXXXX
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
CRYSTAL CITY APARTMENTS
1801 CRYSTAL DRIVE
ARLINGTON, VA

I was slamming into her like a total savage.  I pounded into her as my balls 
ached and I knew I couldn't continue.  She was so beautiful when she climaxed.  
I pushed deeply one last time, feeling my balls tingle and tighten.  My cock 
throbbed so hard with a surge of pressure, it bordered on pain.

Then I emptying into her welcoming depths like a fire hose.  I jerked and 
twitched and cried out with every ejaculation.  "Oh! Oh God!  Jesus Christ!  Oh 
fuck, Maggie!  OH. MY. GAWWWDD!"

I must have pumped seven squirts of semen inside her.  I hadn't come that hard 
for years.

XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

I knew she was clean.  I knew I was clean and she was beyond childbearing 
years.  The feel of making love again without the barrier of a condom had been 
exquisite.  I nearly collapsed on her in post coital bliss but managed to stop 
myself and lean to the side on my hip.  I pulled out of her gently, rubbing her 
hips as she lowered her legs with a moan of discomfort.  "Did I hurt you?"

"No, just been a while.  I'm a little stiff."

She hummed in contentment as I rubbed her muscles and her legs relaxed.  I 
grabbed some tissues and cleaned us up, then maneuvered us under the covers.  I 
coaxed, pulled and pushed until I had her sprawled on my chest, using my body 
for a mattress.

She chuckled, "What are you doing?"

"Making a Maggie blanket," I answered.

Her body bounced with laughter against my chest even though no sound came 
out.  Then she said, "You're silly."

I wrapped my arms around her small frame and hugged her too me.  "God, 
Maggie, that was so incredible.  I don't think I've ever had sex that good."

She snorted. 

"I mean it," I said. 

She looked up, her face serious now.  "Walter, God, I don't even know what to 
say.  It was incredible."  She hesitated.  "I just need a minute to process it all, all 
right?"

I nodded.  "Sure, whatever you need, Maggie."

She smiled at me and laid her head down on my chest.  Our breathing evened 
out and knew she was asleep.  I shifted carefully, reaching over and turning off 
the bedside lamp.  

I settled back down and she squirmed a little, getting comfortable but remained 
sprawled on my chest.  I looked down at her head as my eyes adjusted to the 
dark.  I whispered into the silence of the room.  "I love you, Maggie.  God help 
me, I'm already in love with you."

There was no response.  She was asleep.  I hadn't expected any.

XXXXXXXXXX

He thought I was asleep.  I could tell by his whispered comments.  I 
concentrated on keeping my breathing even so I wouldn't give myself away.  He 
loved me.  Or, he thought he loved me.  How could that be?  It had only been 
two weeks.

Two weeks!  Then what was I was doing here in bed, post coital from three 
orgasms and the best sex I'd ever had in my life at the age of 58 years old.  The 
reality of that made me feel disloyal to Bill but I had to stop thinking that way.  
He was dead, and I was lonely.  Why should I spend my life alone?  Then again, 
did I really need the complications of a full fledged relationship.  None of this 
made any sense.

I felt tears sting my eyes again.  Jesus that had been so intense.  I squeezed my 
eyes shut and willed the tears away.  Did I love him?  I didn't know.  I had a 
sneaking suspicion that I did, as crazy as that seemed.

Love didn't happen that fast, though.  Did it?  There was no such thing as love at 
first sight.  Was there?  It hadn't been that fast with Bill.  I'd gotten to know him 
over a long period of dating.  This had been different.  That didn't mean it was 
the only way things could happen though.  I knew that in my head.  It was 
convincing my heart of that fact.

I felt so small, safe and secure, cuddled up on his furry chest.  I had no idea what 
I was doing.  I was scared.  This was all happening too fast.  I couldn't blame 
him though.  I was just as much to blame.  I'd lost control.  'When had that 
happened?' I wondered.

The lassitude from my release finally caught up with me and I felt sleep pulling 
me under.  I would have to figure it out tomorrow.

XXXXXXXXXX
SATURDAY MORNING
8:00 AM

He woke before me.  I got up and he was already showered and dressed in a 
form fitting blue tee shirt and snug well-worn jeans.  He looked good enough to 
eat.

He showed me where the towels and shampoo were and I crawled sheepishly 
into the shower.  The light of day was crashing in on me now and I wondered 
what the hell I had done.  I stepped under the spray, bracing myself and sighing 
as it washed over me.  

I was sore between my legs, but that was to be expected.  Until the very end, 
he'd been nothing but tender and gentle, but let's face it.  The old basement 
probably had cobwebs it had sat there empty for so long.  I washed my hair and 
cried, not even knowing why I was crying, letting the warm water wash them 
away.  

I had to stop this.  Dana would kill me if she knew.  I had wantonly seduced her 
boss and now I had taken him to bed.  Me, her 58-year-old mother, acting like a 
tramp.  Oh God.  I covered my face with my hands and just stood there for a 
minute.  I had to end this.  It would never work.

It was a conflict of interest for him.  He was Dana's boss, for God's sake.  I 
wasn't ready.  'Little late for that now,' a small voice in my head said.  I told it to 
shut up.  I felt guilty.  Forty years with one man, the only man and now it 
seemed sacrilege to have taken another.  What really felt wrong was not the fact 
that I had slept with another man, but that I had enjoyed it so much.  

God, it wasn't supposed to be that good.  He wasn't supposed to ignite feelings in 
me that Bill never did.  He wasn't supposed to make me crave physical contact.  
I was supposed to be older and wiser and beyond the need for sexual comfort.  
What the hell had I been thinking?

I got out of the shower and quickly dried off and put on my dress from the night 
before.  I hadn't expected to stay so I hadn't brought other clothes.  When I 
emerged from the bathroom, there was a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt laid 
out on the bed.  I took off the dress and slipped into them.  They were enormous 
on me, but they covered everything.  I folded up the dress and walked 
downstairs.

I would just have to tell him that this couldn't happen again.  We'd made a 
mistake and if we went our separate ways, no one would ever have to know.  He 
wasn't in the living room, so I made my way to the kitchen.  

I looked at his back as he stood at the counter, pouring coffee.  I watched him 
put in two sugars and milk, just the way I liked it.  He'd learned that over these 
last two weeks.  I cleared my throat and he turned, giving me a big smile.

"Morning, sunshine.  Sit down, breakfast is ready."

I swallowed and sat down.  He dished up scrambled eggs, bacon, rye toast and 
coffee and a small glass of orange juice.  I felt a lump in my throat.  He looked 
so happy.  I just couldn't tell him right now.  I needed to get out of here, put a 
little distance between us and then tell him.  Let the glow wear off.  He would 
realize it was a mistake too.  

I forced myself to smile and sat and ate breakfast with him, making small talk.  I 
couldn't burst his bubble.  Let him enjoy it a bit longer.  Men were like that.  Sex 
put them in a really good mood.  It had done wonders for me too, but I knew it 
had to end.

Then why was I so miserable every time I thought of telling him good-bye?

XXXXXXXXXX
DAYS INN
ATLANTA, GA
SATURDAY MORNING
8:00 AM

Mulder frowned at me as I snapped my phone shut.  "I don't like it," I 
announced.

"Scully.  I'm sure she's fine.  You're just missing her.  You said yourself she 
doesn't sit home waiting for the phone to ring.  She does all kinds of things, 
shopping, charity events.  In fact, you said she was involved in some VFW 
charity thing.  Wasn't that last night?"

I felt some of my tension drain away.  "My God, you're right.  I'd forgotten all 
about that.  I wish I had your memory," I muttered.

He walked up to me and hugged me.  I went easily into his embrace, something 
that had been happening more and more frequently lately.  He petted my hair. 
"See.  She normally is in bed by 9:00 PM, but if they had that dinner dance and 
she's on the committee, this was probably an exception and she was out late."

I sighed in relief.  "You're right, I'll try her again later.  She might even be there 
this morning for clean up or something," I suggested.

"I'm sure that's it, Scully.  Look, if we don't reach her by tomorrow sometime, 
I'll call Skinner and have him check in on her.  How's that?"

I nodded firmly.  "Good, yeah, that's a good idea."  I backed out of his arms.

He took me by the shoulders and shook me gently.  "She's fine, Scully."

I smiled sadly.  "I know.  I just worry.  She's all alone now, Mulder.  Bill and 
Charlie are on the west coast and involved with their own lives.  I'm the only 
one that checks on her regularly," I reminded him, my leg moving back and 
forth nervously.

He smiled and leaned over, kissing me on the forehead.  "She's fine, but you 
know what?"

"What?"

"I have the perfect idea for her next birthday or Christmas gift."

"What's that?"

"You HAVE to get that woman an answering machine," he said with a straight 
face.

I started to laugh.  He could always cheer me up when I was nervous or blue.  
How did he do that? I wondered.  "You're right.  If I'd left a message, she would 
have gotten it and called me back already and I wouldn't be worrying like this."

"Exactly."

"You're right.  Screw waiting for her birthday, we're getting her one as soon as 
we get home."

"It's a deal.  Now let's go solve this case so we can get home and check on her 
ourselves."

"Yeah, let's go."

XXXXXXXXXX
MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOUSE
BETHESDA, MA
SATURDAY EVENING - 8:00 PM

We entered the house after having dinner.  I'd gone and changed my clothes and 
went back to the VFW to help with clean up.  Walter had said he need to grocery 
shop and do a few other errands.  He suggested dinner and I hesitated but then 
remembered that if I was going to tell him this couldn't happen again, I should 
do it in person, not like a scared teenager over the phone.

So we'd gone to dinner, in Bethesda this time and he was walking me to the 
door.  "Walter, why don't you come in for coffee?" I suggested.

He waggled his eyebrows at me.  "Just coffee?"

I laughed nervously.  "Yeah, for now."

"All right," he answered and followed me in after I unlocked the door.

I made coffee and we settled at the dining room table.  I didn't want to get cozy 
on the couch.  That would make this even harder.  "Walter, we need to talk."

He sighed.  "I know.  I didn't mean to avoid it over dinner.  I just wanted to relax 
and have a good time."

"It's all right.  Look, last night was phenomenal."

He smiled and his eyes went soft.  "For me too.  It was incredible, Maggie."

I swallowed.  "Look, I'm worried about Dana, and I'm not sure we should pursue 
this."

His face fell.  I waited for his response and there was none.  He finally set his 
coffee mug down and stood up.  He came to me, grabbed me under the armpits 
and bodily lifted me out of the chair.  "Walter!  What are you doing?" I gasped.

He plunked me onto the table, carefully opened my legs and stepped in between 
them.  He took my head in his hands and leaned forward.  I opened my mouth to 
protest and his mouth covered mine.

I was lost.  His lips worked mine and his tongue pushed into my mouth, not 
taking no for an answer.

His hands went to my hips and pulled me against him.  I could feel his erection 
blossoming and felt moisture tingle in my juncture.  No, we couldn't do this 
again.

Before I knew it, his hands were underneath my blouse and gliding over my bra-
encased breasts, teasing the nipples into hard points of arousal.  "Walter, 
please!" I whined.

He talked in between kissing my neck.  "Walter, please, what?" Kiss.  "Walter, 
kiss me?" Kiss.  "Walter, touch me?" Kiss.  "Walter, make love to me again?" 
Kiss.  "God, you feel so good, Maggie.  It's been so long since I held anyone.  
We don't have to get heavy.  Let's just sit and cuddle for a while.  Please," he 
whispered the last plea.

He drew away and looked into my eyes.  I couldn't tell him no.  I hopped off the 
table and he followed me into the living room.  I sat on the couch and he sat near 
me, coaxing me into his lap.  I resisted slightly, but he casually arranged my 
limbs until I was straddling his lap and my arms were around his neck.  

Then he pulled me against him and hugged me gently but firmly.  "I've never 
had a woman make me feel the way you do, Maggie," he said quietly.

I swallowed.  "You make me feel good too, Walter, but this isn't just about us."

"Yes, it is.   Dana is a big girl.  It's not her decision.  She might not like it if she 
found out, but she would learn to live with it, cause I'm not going anywhere."

"Walter, please," I tried again.  "Just listen to me."  I clamped down on the urge 
to moan as his warm hands ventured under my blouse and rubbed gently on the 
muscles of my back.  "You're Dana's superior," I began.

"So what?  I'm not trying to date her."

"This could compromise your authority," I reminded him.

He chuckled.  "My authority has always been compromised with Mulder and 
Scully.  They do what they want and I just hope I can cover their backs enough 
to keep them from getting in serious trouble with the other brass."

"Walter, it's not this simple."

He gently coaxed me back a bit and rested his hands on my hips again.  "Look at 
me," he commanded.

I took a deep breath and turned to him.  He stared at me.  "I was too chicken to 
say it last night while you were awake."

Oh God.  I was seized with panic.  No, I didn't want to hear it again.  This was 
hard enough as it was.  I wanted to believe this wouldn't hurt him that much.  He 
would accept it and move on.  He was still young.  He would find someone else 
and forget our little tryst. 

I put my fingers on his lips to stop him, but he merely sucked them into his 
mouth, those gorgeous lips sliding over my fingers as his tongue swirled around 
my digits.  I felt myself melt with arousal again.  Oh no, this wasn't good.  It 
wasn't supposed to go this way. 

He finally released my fingers and I gathered myself.  "Walter, listen," I began.

Then he blurted it out.  "I love you, Maggie."

"No, Walter.  You can't," I protested.

"Yes, I can.  I do.  I know it doesn't make any sense."

"Walter, we've known each other two weeks," I nearly cried.

"No, Maggie.  We've known each other for nearly seven years.  We've only been 
dating for two weeks," he corrected me.

"Semantics!" I protested.

"I love you," he said simply and pulled me down for a kiss.  It was hopeless.  He 
wasn't going to listen right now.  I had to send him home, keep my distance for a 
few days and then try again.  Maybe I did need to tell him over the phone.  I 
couldn't think straight when he was looking at me.  I certainly couldn't think 
straight when he was touching me.

'I could kiss this man forever,' I thought.  I nearly jerked physically at the 
thought.  No!  I'm supposed to be ending this.  Aren't I?  Why was I doing it 
again?  Dana!  That's it!  'Liar!' the little voice in my head cried. 'You're scared.'  
I told it to shut up again. 

By then it was too late.  He had my blouse unbuttoned and hanging off my 
shoulders.  He stood me up and my cotton pants were on the floor along with my 
panties.  When did that happen?  My bra was gone and he was suckling on my 
nipples, first one, then the other.  I was moaning again.  

I gave myself up to the sensation.  One more time couldn't hurt.  The damage 
was already done.  I felt a delicious twinge in my womb as I felt his naked 
erection against the tender skin of my inner thighs.  When did he get naked?"

He sat down and pulled me with him.  I was straddling him again, only now our 
clothes were in piles on the floor and we were buck-naked in the middle of my 
couch.

XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

His expression was one of almost pain as he held onto the base of his enormous 
shaft, pointing it up at me as I straddled him on my knees.  "Do it, Maggie," he 
commanded.

I felt something let loose inside me.  I should say no.  I should stop this.  His 
thumb brushed over my turgid nipple and I felt myself sitting down, felt his hot, 
silky skin sliding inside me, felt him throb and heard him groan as I sat all the 
way down, burying him deep in my belly.  "Oh Jesus!" I hiccupped.

Then he was moving his hands on my hips, guiding my movements, pumping 
his hips up into me.  Dear lord, it felt so good.  He was gentle, tender.  Once we 
got into a rhythm, his hands wandered, touching me everywhere.  He kissed my 
breasts, my neck, and my lips.  He threaded his hands through my hair and 
rubbed my scalp making my whole body tingle with joy.

Why did I want to give this up again?  With a final cry a defeat I looked at the 
ceiling and silently said, 'I'm sorry, Bill, but I can't stop.'  Then I didn't give him 
another thought as Walter invaded my thoughts as he invaded my body.

Flashes of images cascaded through my head.  Walter kissing me, Walter 
holding me, Walter laughing, Walter dancing with me.  Without conscious 
thought, we moved like a well-oiled machine, bringing each other higher.

This time we came together, both throwing our heads backs and shouting, the 
sound echoing in our ears as our passion was spent and I went limp as a dish rag 
in his lap, his shaft still tumescent and pulsing inside me.  

XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

We sat there, not talking, just hugging and soothing each other.  He pulled and 
afghan off the back of the couch, carefully draped it over both of us and turned, 
laying down, still inside me and shoving a couch throw pillow under his head.  

Just like the night before, I drifted off to sleep, pillowed on his warm, muscular 
chest.  


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 7 (NC-17)
XXXXXXXXXX
MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOUSE
BETHESDA, MD
SUNDAY MORNING - 7:00 AM

I woke slowly feeling the sun warm my face.  I opened my eyes.  I was in the 
same position as last night, only I knew he was no longer inside me.  I sighed 
and opened my eyes.  So much for my plans, I thought.  I was determined to 
break it off and instead ending up riding him like a rider on the Pony Express.

I felt warm and secure and didn't want to move.  I enjoyed the feeling, my hands 
moving over his chest, tickling his chest hair.  I peered up at him.  He was still 
asleep, his glasses crooked on his face.  I carefully removed them and set them 
on the coffee table without moving off him.  He stirred and smacked his chops.

My God, he was a beautiful man.  I could feel the six-pack abs beneath my 
stomach, the thick tube of his flaccid penis between my legs.  His bulging 
pectorals were under my cheek.  I turned, my lips seeking out and finding his 
flat, male nipple.  I licked it and then sucked gently.

He moaned in his sleep, his hips flexing against me and murmured, "Maggie."

I was about to cry again, damn it.  What was wrong with me?  I'd been a crying 
basket case for the last two weeks, since I'd started this with Walter, since that 
first kiss that had turned my life upside down.  How could we make this work?  
How could we NOT make this work?  Did I want to know happiness and 
passion was within my grasp and I'd let it go?  

I finally admitted that I was scared.  I was so afraid of getting in too deep, giving 
my heart away for only the second time in my life and then having it all go bad.  
I didn't think I would survive it.

He'd told me repeatedly that he wasn't someone that drifted in and out of 
relationships.  He'd been married 17 years.  Hadn't dated since his divorce 
except for one time.  He went out with one woman, one time.  He wouldn't 
elaborate but said it ended badly and quickly.  That was it.  He was a stable man, 
an honest, hard-working man.  He seemed sincere.

The fact of the matter was I loved him too.  I was just too afraid to say it.  It was 
a commitment to say that.  He'd said it.  Then why was I questioning his 
motives?  Why was I worried it would go bad?  I was the one that was holding 
out, holding back.  I was the one that needed to be examining my motives.

I wanted an excuse to back away, get my bearings.  I was so afraid of losing 
control.  'Gee, I wonder where Dana got that from?' I thought sarcastically.  
Would it be so bad?  I was a strong woman. I had survived many tragedies. I 
could survive this.  Ah, but this is my heart we were talking about.  I wasn't 
getting any younger and I didn't know if I had it in me to survive a broken heart 
at this age.  Face it, Maggie, I thought.  This man could break your heart and 
that scares the bejesus out of you.

I found myself feeling his chest again.  I nipped at his nipple and he gasped 
loudly, opening his eyes.  I looked up and found him peering down at me 
myopically.  "Morning, beautiful," he mumbled.

I smiled.  "Morning."

"I need to shower," he said.  

"Me too."

"You go first."

"No need, I have two showers, one down here and another upstairs."

"What luxury," he said.

"Not when you have four kids it isn't!"

He sat up carefully and moved me to sit beside him.  He was gloriously unself-
conscious about his nudity and I stared openly.  He smiled at me and I felt 
myself blush, cursing my Irish skin.  He chuckled softly and it made my body 
feel heavy and slow.  God, what this man did to me.  I pointed to the other side 
of the living room, opposite the entrance to the dining room.  "Down that hall, 
first door on the left," I instructed.  

He nodded and stood, stretching his arms over his head.  His back muscles 
bunched and his ass clenched as he went up on his toes.  I heard several pops as 
the vertebra in his back decompressed.

He shook himself lightly and smiled at me again.  He picked up his clothes, 
grabbed his glasses and put them back on.  There was that wink again and then 
he was gone, striding out of the room.  I watched until he disappeared around 
the corner and then looked at the stairs beyond where he had turned.

I stood and picked up my clothes, and gathered the afghan around me and made 
my way slowly to the stairs.  I groaned slightly, feeling my muscles protest as I 
climbed the stairs.  

XXXXXXXXXX

A hot shower did wonders for me.  Her couch, while comfortable wasn't as nice 
to my body as my big, king-sized bed.  I wrinkled my nose when I thought of 
putting on my underwear from yesterday and decided to forget them.  I slipped 
into my khakis and dress shirt, leaving it unbuttoned.  I found a pile of new 
toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet and opened one of them, brushing my 
teeth.

Feeling more human I wandered into the kitchen, following the smell of coffee 
and muffins.  She handed me a cup of coffee and appraised my chest again.  She 
obviously felt some sort of attraction for it, so I figured it couldn't hurt to show it 
off.  Walking around with my shirt unbuttoned might become a habit if she was 
going to keep looking at me like that.

I sipped my coffee casually and leaned against the counter.  She pointed at the 
breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room. I sat down on one 
of the stools and she sat on the other side.  I selected a big, fat blueberry muffin 
and bit into it, humming in appreciation.

She smiled and we ate in silence for a few minutes, sipping on our coffee.  It 
was comfortable, unlike some of the recent silences.  I knew she was scared. I 
was just going to have to convince her just how serious I was.  My heart had 
nearly dropped out of my chest the evening before when she suggested we 
couldn't pursue this relationship.  There was no turning around for me now.  

When she finished, she stood and carried her plate to the sink.  I followed suit, 
slipping the plate into the sink.  I put my arms down on the counter on either 
side of her.  She stiffened momentarily and then relaxed, leaning back against 
me.

I spoke softly into her ear.  "Are you finished fighting me on this, or do we have 
to talk some more?"

I watched the muscles in her throat as she swallowed.  I kissed the column of her 
neck and felt her quiver against me.  "I'm scared, Walter.  What will I do if this 
all goes bad?  Losing Bill was the hardest thing, next to losing Melissa that I've 
ever had to go through.  I don't know if I could go through it again."

I kissed her temple and moved my hands to rest on her stomach.  She was 
wearing a loose crew neck tee under her bathrobe.  "I can't give you a guarantee 
Maggie.  None of us knows what will happen tomorrow.  I can tell you this.  I'm 
in love with you.  I want to be with you.  I would never leave you voluntarily.  
I'm too far in for that."

She turned in the circle of my arms and I loosened my grip, letting her face me.  
Her hands rested on my chest and she played idly with my chest hair making my 
muscles twitch along with my groin.  What the hell?  I just made love to her last 
night.  

Didn't matter.  The woman excited things in me that I thought were long dead, 
my libido being chief among them.  "It's crazy.  I love you too, Walter," she 
whispered.

I felt something in my chest crack wide open and I gathered her up into my 
arms, moving sideways away from the sink.  I reached down and captured her 
legs below her rear end and easily lifted her onto the counter, assuming the 
position I'd been in the night before on her dining room table.  

I kissed her and snaked my hands inside her robe, the tie tumbling away.  She 
kissed me back.  "I love you, Maggie.  I won't leave.  It won't go bad, I 
promise."

She had tears in her eyes but she smiled and pulled me tight against her.  Then 
her hands dropped to my pants and undid the zipper on my khakis.  She reached 
inside and gasped when she realized I had no underwear on.  "Commando, Mr. 
Skinner?" she teased. 

I smiled widely.  "Didn't bring an extra pair," I explained.

She merely grinned and pushed my pants down onto my thighs, grasping my 
half hard cock and beginning to stroke it, cradling my balls with the other hand.  
She was nearly tipping off the counter as I shrugged out of my shirt and let it fall 
to the floor.  I pulled her robe off her shoulders and she let go of my anatomy 
long enough to peel her arms out of it and leave it sitting on the counter 
underneath her.  I pulled her tee shirt over her head and it joined my shirt on the 
floor. 

She raised her hips and I slipped her panties off, tossing them over my shoulder 
with a flourish.  She giggled, actually giggled and I felt my heart swell in my 
chest.  "God, you're beautiful," I murmured, rooting around for her nipple, 
finding it and beginning to suck.  

She moaned loudly.  I thought I heard the sound of a car door and stopped 
briefly.  Nothing. Must have been my imagination. I went back to worshipping 
her breasts.

She whimpered and said, "Now, Walter."

XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

I pulled her to the edge, my hands on her ass, and lined myself up.  I felt her lips 
and they were moist and ready for me. I spread her open with one hand and 
placed myself in her crease.

Her hands gripped my shoulders and her legs circled my waist.  Her heels 
pressed into my ass and I sunk inside her, pressing deep.  She arched her back 
and moaned again.  

I began to pump her slowly, holding her tiny waist.  She was apparently in the 
mood for something else.  She bit my earlobe and growled, "Harder, faster, 
Walter."

I groaned and began slamming into her, letting go of the rein I was holding on 
my lust.  I tipped her hips against me, making sure there would be constant 
friction on her clit.  She was climbing quickly.  I could tell by the sounds she 
was making.  I was glad, cause despite this rash of love making over the last 
couple of days, I wasn't going to last long at this pace.  I felt my balls tighten up, 
the backs of my legs tingling.

I nearly snarled in her ear, "I'm gonna come!"

XXXXXXXXXX

I let myself go.  I was in this for the long haul.  To hell with everyone else, this 
was for me!  I wanted him too badly.  Reasonable or not, I'd fallen in love with 
this rough, tough cream puff in an alarmingly short period of time.  There was 
no logic.  There was no reason behind it.  It just was.  

I asked him to take me harder and faster and he complied without comment, 
groaning and snapping his hips, driving his cock upwards, forcing it in and out 
of my quivering vagina.  I couldn't believe how quickly I was running up the 
ladder of arousal.  Oh God, I was going to come any second now.  I was going 
to come hard.

I looked down, watching him stroke into me, brushing the bottom of my clitoris 
and driving me wild. All I could do was moan.  Speech was gone.  He looked so 
big, so massive, his stomach muscles rippling as he clenched and drove himself 
into me.  It looked like a freight train rushing into a mouse hole.  I through my 
head back and his mouth found my nipple again.

"Look at me," he growled.

I snapped my head up to look at him.  He was feral and sweating.  "Uh, uh, uh," 
was forced out of the back of my throat.

I heard a gasp and turned my head toward the kitchen entrance.  I nearly went 
into shock, stiffening every muscle in my body, including my vaginal muscles, 
as I saw them standing there in the doorway.  Dana and Fox.  Oh. My. God!

He felt me stiffen and clamp down on him so hard it almost hurt.  He roared, 
"Ohhhhhh, Gaaawwwdddd, Maggie!"

I squealed at a particularly hard thrust that crushed my clitoris.  I exploded into 
my orgasm, screaming out, "Ahhhhhhhhh, God!"

I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, hoping it was illusion.  I shook and quivered 
as a flush raced up my body and I convulsed around him.

At the same time, I felt him pulse hard and then he was flooding me with his 
own release.  He rammed into me fast and hard, ejaculating at the end of every 
stroke as he bottomed out and pressed into my cervix. 

XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXX

He nearly flopped against me.  I found my motor skills and started pushing on 
his chest.  I looked up and they were gone.  I pushed again.  "Walter!  God, get 
dressed.  Oh my God!"  I sounded frantic even to my own ears.

"What's wrong?"

"Dana!  Fox!  They were just here."

"WHAT?" he roared.  

"Get dressed!" I said through clenched teeth.

He slid out of me and quickly found his clothes, yanking on his pants and 
throwing his shirt on over his shoulders, not bothering to button it again.  I 
scrambled for my panties after jumping off the counter and nearly falling as my 
legs buckled.

He steadied me as I pulled them on, struggling back into my tee shirt.  "Easy," 
he cooed.

"Easy?!" I exclaimed.

"Shhh, it's gonna be all right," he said, petting my hair and helping tie my 
bathrobe at the waist when he saw my shaking hands.

"Oh God, Walter.  They saw us.  They saw us!" I whispered frantically.

His hands were suddenly on my face.  He held me still and kissed me gently.  
"They should have knocked.  They had to find out sooner or later."

"This is a hell of a way to find out.  Jesus, I should know better.  You don't do 
this outside of the bedroom when you have kids."

He started to laugh and I punched him in the chest.  "This isn't funny!" I 
shouted.

He gathered me up, trying to suppress his laughter.  He held me close and talked 
to the top of my head.  "Maggie, your children are grown.  You live alone.  We 
did NOTHING wrong here.  They shouldn't have come in without announcing 
themselves."

I swallowed convulsively, taking a deep breath to compose myself.  "O.K.  Let's 
go face the music."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Mulder, something is wrong," I said.

"Let's not jump to conclusions," he replied, trying to placate me.

I was already opening the door as he put the car in park.  I jumped out slamming 
it behind me and nearly ran to the front door of the house.  He caught up with 
me as I pulled out my key.

He raised his hand to knock and we heard a moan.  I panicked, sticking my key 
in the lock, "Mom!" I said and it came out strangled.

Mulder pulled his weapon.  I turned the lock and shouldered my way in the 
door, drawing my weapon.  We looked around the living room and heard 
another moan.  "Oh my God!  She's hurt," I whispered and we trotted quickly 
into the dining room.  

We both looked at each other, nodded and swung into the kitchen, me in the 
door, Mulder looking over the breakfast bar.  What I saw nearly made me pass 
out, I was so shocked.  I gasped as I watched my boss' ass clench hard, 
obviously driving his penis into my mother.  Thank God I couldn't see his penis.  
That would have really been too much.  She had thrown her head back and cried 
out in what was obviously pleasure.  Her eyes snapped open and she'd seen me.  
Her eyes went wide and she opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

He slammed into her again and she groaned, closing her eyes.  She trembled and 
I knew he was making her climax.  My mother, climaxing, with my boss.  It was 
too much to handle. 

I felt my knees turn to jelly and we lowered our weapons.  I glanced at Mulder 
and he was smirking.  I threw him a dirty look and spun on my heels, just in 
time to hear Skinner bellow, "Ohhhhhh, Gaaawwwdddd, Maggie!"

I ran into the living room and collapsed onto the couch, my knees no longer able 
to hold me upright.  I looked up at Mulder.  He was biting his lip.  "This isn't 
funny, Mulder!" I hissed.

"Yeah, uh, thought we were at Denny's for a moment there," he said in a 
deadpan voice.

"What?"

"You know.  Moon Over My Hammy," he cracked, no longer able to keep his 
mirth in check.  He grinned.

I lashed out, slapping him hard on the leg and he said, "Ow, Jesus, Scully."

I heard scrambling in the kitchen and turned to look that way.  They weren't 
coming out yet.  I closed my eyes and laid my head on the back of the couch.  
Pictures flashed before my eyes of what I'd just seen.

My boss, his big muscles rippling as he fucked my mother.  He was really 
nailing her, I mean fucking her.  The thing I couldn't get over was that she was 
obviously enjoying it.

I saw it again, his ass clenching hard and pumping into her as she hung onto him 
like a life jacket in a rowboat.  My boss was built, no doubt about it.  He wasn't 
my type though. I tended to like leaner, more athletic mean as opposed to the 
body builder type.  Guess my mom liked the body builder type.  I felt sick again.  

Then I flashed on a picture of Mulder, naked, nailing me up against my kitchen 
cabinets and I shuddered.  What the hell was wrong with me?  I opened my eyes 
and Mulder was still standing there, trying desperately not to laugh.  I hated him 
for it, I thought in a rush of irrational anger.

When had this happened?  How long had my mother been seeing my boss 
behind my back?  How many meetings had I sat through while he stared at me 
knowing he was banging my mother?  "Jesus Christ!" I hissed out loud again 
and stood up, just in time to see them enter the living room.

She was in her bathrobe which I vaguely remembered having seen puddle on the 
floor.  He was in khakies and a shirt, but didn't even have the decency to button 
it up. 

I looked away, not wanting to see it again.  I couldn't help it.  The vision of his 
rippling back muscles and clenching, muscular ass flashed against my mind's 
eye.  I gulped loudly.  

Skinner looked pissed.  He had no right to be.  "WHAT THE HELL, Mulder?" 
he growled when he saw Mulder smirking at him.

Mulder bit his lip.

"What the hell?  What the hell?" I screeched.  "What the hell is going on HERE?  
How long has this been going on, Mom?"  

"You should have knocked," she said lamely.

"Knocked!  You don't answer your phone for nearly three days.  I was going 
crazy with worry.  I get here and hear you moaning like your dying.  I thought 
you were hurt.  I was rushing in here expecting to find you hurt or ill and instead 
I find ..." I trailed off, looking away.

"Me dying the little death, instead," she remarked.

That was all Mulder could take and he began guffawing, holding his sides with 
laughter.  Skinner was now the one trying not to smile.  "This isn't funny!" I 
cried again.

That just made Mulder laugh harder, and Skinner finally lost control.  He began 
chuckling and pulled my mother into an embrace as she blushed to the roots of 
her hair.  "Oh, geez," I heard Mulder wheeze as he desperately tried to breath 
and regain his composure.

"Get your hands off her, God damn it!" I yelled, unable to stand looking at them 
cuddling one another.

Skinner gave me his best A.D. stare.  I stared right back.  My mother's head 
jerked up off his chest.  "Dana Katherine Scully!" my mother bellowed.  "You 
will watch your language!  This is MY HOUSE!  You will not yell at my 
guests!" she finished, nearly spitting with indignation.

My lord.  It had been years since I'd seen her like that.  Her cheeks were flushed, 
her hair was wild.  Of course, I didn't know if it was from anger or the 
pummeling she'd just taken.

"You don't have to rub my nose in it!" I shouted.  I felt tears coat my eyes.  
"God, Mom.  How could you?" I asked.

My mother deflated slightly.  Everyone was suddenly serious.  My mother 
looked at me for a long moment and then said, "Dana, I know this is hard for 
you accept.  However, I am a woman who can make her own decisions.  Now I 
loved your father.  You know that.  I was faithful to that man for 40 YEARS!" 
she hissed.

I hung my head.  

"I will always love your father, Dana."  She paused.  "But he's dead!  He's dead, 
and I can't change that.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life ALONE," she 
emphasized.

I flopped back down onto the couch and buried my face in my hands.  I began 
rocking my body, trying not to break down.  I felt Mulder sit next to me and 
place his hand on my back.  I tried to shrug him off but he wouldn't let me, 
pulling me into his arms.  He hugged me tightly and I buried my face in his 
dress shirt.

My mother continued talking, even though I wasn't looking at her.  "You 
shouldn't have seen that Dana.  I'm sorry you did, but you should have knocked 
and you should have announced yourself.  You did neither of those things, and 
you know better," she scolded.

I did know better and I felt about ten years old at the moment, once again, being 
scolded by my mother because my curiosity coaxed me into doing things I 
shouldn't and sticking my nose where it didn't belong.  I swallowed again, 
feeling my nose stuff up.

Mulder handed me his handkerchief as my mother decided she wasn't finished 
with me yet.



XXXXXXXXXX
PART 8 (PG-13)
XXXXXXXXXX
MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOUSE
BETHESDA, MD
SUNDAY MORNING - 9:00 AM

"We were going to tell you two about our relationship when the time was right."

I finally found my voice, turning to look at her and sliding out of Mulder's arms 
to stand again.  "When the time was right?" I asked indignantly.  "When was 
that Mom?  Before or after you were remarried?" I shot at her.

Her eyes blazed again and I saw her clench her fists in an effort to control 
herself.  Mulder butted in.  "Scully, she's right.  This is none of our business."

I whirled on him.  "None of our business!" I repeated.  "How can you say that?  
This is my mother!"  I pointed at Skinner.  "That is our BOSS."

He shook his head slightly as if exasperated.  "Yes, I know that Scully, and they 
are both consenting adults who have been barged in on without warning.  It's 
time for us to go."

He stood up and took my arm.  I shook him off angrily.  "Go then!"

Skinner finally spoke up in a surprisingly calm voice.  "Look, Scully.  The 
physical thing is new, all right.  Very new," he stressed.  "We were going to tell 
you.  You guys were out of town.  We didn't expect you back until the middle of 
this coming week."

I deflated.  He kept talking.  "We didn't set out to deceive anyone here.  We 
were developing a relationship.  We didn't know if it was going to take off at 
first either.  We wanted to do that in private before announcing it to you and the 
rest of the world.  Can you understand that?" he asked.

I looked at the floor.  "I'm sorry," I whispered.  "You didn't answer my calls for 
three days," I said lamely.  "I was worried," I said finally, still not looking up.

My mother appeared in front of me and lifted my face with her fingers under my 
chin.  "Dana, I love you.  I would never intentionally deceive you.  I'm sorry you 
worried about me.  I am a grown woman though.  I know this was a shock."  She 
smiled mischievously.  "It was shock to me too," she joked.

We all chuckled, unable to help ourselves as the tension drained from the room.  
Skinner added, "Hell, it was a shock to me too."

I looked at him and could tell he was sincere.  "What?" I stopped.  "Forget it."

Mom looked at me.  "Ask," she said calmly.

"Is it serious?" I asked, feeling stupid but needing to know.  I had a lot to think 
about.

Skinner looked me right in the eyes and said, "I'm in love with your mother, 
Scully.  Yes, it's serious."

I glanced at Mulder and he was displaying a smile I'd never seen on his face 
before.  I looked at my mother.  "Mom?"

"It's mutual," she said, breaking eye contact to smile up at Skinner.

"Oh God," I whispered.

Mulder put his hands on my shoulders.  "We checked, she's fine, time to go," he 
said abruptly.

"I'll decide when its time to go!"  He pulled back, putting his hands in the air in 
a gesture of surrender.  He flopped back down in the middle of the couch to wait 
this out.

"Dana, stop taking it out on Fox," my mother scolded me again.

"How new?" I asked, knowing it was none of my business.  "The physical 
thing," I clarified.

Skinner smiled shyly but raised an eyebrow at my mother, obviously telling her 
she was going to have to answer this one.  She looked at me.  "New enough.  
We've only been together a few times."

"Has he bothered to find a bed yet?" I asked sarcastically, unable to help myself.  

Skinner frowned, all his shyness and mirth gone.  My mother glared at me.  "We 
like to be creative actually, Dana," she replied. 

I heard the anger and the hard flint in her voice.  I hadn't heard it a long time, but 
I knew what it meant.  She was about to make me regret questioning her.  
"Mom," I began.

She cut me off.  "Oh, no, little Miss Curious, not this time.  You want answers.  
You get answers," she said in a persnickety voice.  Uh oh.  That's what she 
called me when I was a kid and got into trouble, nose trouble, she called it 
because of my curiosity.  "Let's see," she began, tapping her chin with her 
finger.  "We checked out Walter's big king sized bed first."

"Mom," I tried to interrupt.

She kept going like I hadn't spoken.  "Then we christened the couch here, and 
let's see.  You obviously know about the kitchen counter," she said.

"Too much information, Mom!" I said, holding up my hand.

She gave me a triumphant smile, knowing she'd put me in my place.  I looked 
and the couch and nearly choked, seeing Mulder sitting there, his legs sprawled 
in front of him.  I covered my eyes with my hand and sighed deeply.  "Sorry," I 
blurted.  "Glad you're all right," I said.  I whirled and ran out of the house.

It was about a minute before Mulder emerged from the house, sauntered down 
the stairs, and slid into the driver's seat.  "Where to?" he asked.

"Take me home," I said, looking out the window.

XXXXXXXXXX
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, D.C.
SUNDAY - 10:00 AM

He followed me inside without my asking.  I wanted to send him away and tell 
him to leave me alone, but I knew he needed to talk about it too.  Despite his 
humor, which I knew he used to cover up tension, he had to have been nearly as 
shocked as I was.  Although it was MY mother we were talking about here.

Like most adult children, the fact that they exist is evidence that their parents 
had sex.  My mother had four children, so at a minimum, I know my parents 
boinked at least four times.  I mean, I knew intellectually, they made love for 
years, but I didn't ever linger on that fact or even think about it for any reason.  
The thought of it was shiver inducing, and not the good kind.

On the other hand, while I knew my boss was divorced, I'd never seen him show 
overt interest in any woman.  I realized he was unlikely to show off any 
conquests at the office, but he never even mentioned a name.  The man held his 
cards extremely close to the vest.  I should know, I did the same thing.  I 
watched Mulder toss his coat over the back of my couch and sit down.  He 
pulled off one shoe and then the other and flexed his toes.  He leaned back with 
a sigh and then turned to me.

"Take off your coat and stay a while," he joked.  I jerked out of my 
contemplation and took off my coat.  I hung mine in the closet and joined him 
on the couch.  

"I can't believe this," I said.

"Pretty amazing," he said.

"Amazing?" I repeated, sounding shrewish to my own ears.

He looked at me and frowned.  "Look Scully, I know you're in shock.  It was no 
picnic for me to see your mother and our boss naked either okay?  So why don't 
you kill the fucking sarcasm, cause its not helping."

I sank into the couch saying, "Sorry."

"What bothers you the most?" he asked.  "The fact that they are together at all?  
The fact that you didn't know?  Or the fact that we walked into on them in 
flagrante delicto, on the verge of la petite mort?"

"I don't know.  All of the above," I said.

"Is it really a bad thing?  I mean, I was a little weirded out myself.  I mean, 
seeing the Skinman in his finest was not high on my list of things on the TO DO 
list, you know?" he joked.

I chuckled.  "Does this bother you at all?"

He cleared his throat.  "A little bit.  I mean, I don't know.  It's more of a shock 
than anything."  I never thought about Skinner being a sexual creature except for 
that one time he was set up with the prostitute.

"I never thought about my mother being a sexual creature."

"We're all sexual creatures," he replied.

I looked at him.  "I know it's none of my business.  I know she's a mature 
woman, I just never pictured her being with anyone but my father."

He hugged me with his arm around my shoulder.  "She has to move on, Scully.  
Come to think of it, so does Skinner.  He's divorced.  He's not dead.  Same with 
your mom.  She's a widow, not dead.  Why should they be alone, when you 
think about it?"

"Why should any of us be alone?" I asked.

"Because we haven't been able to open up to the right person?" he suggested.

I looked at him.  Was he talking about us?  "I just need to wrap my mind around 
this.  I know I need to accept it.  I mean, I suppose its no more weird than if you 
and I had sex.  People have sex all the time, right?  You find someone you like, 
you become friends, you realize your attracted to them, maybe you have some 
chemistry and all of sudden you're wondering what your waiting for."

I turned to look at him again and his eyes had gone black.  His jaw was slack 
and sporting a five o'clock shadow.  He suddenly looked so delicious, I couldn't 
take my eyes off him.

"No more weird than you and me having sex, Scully?" he asked quietly.

"Huh?" I asked.  What was he talking about?

"Have you ever thought about it?" he asked.

"What?  Thought about what?" I countered.

"You and me having sex," he said bluntly.

Silence descended in the room and our eyes locked.  "I didn't mean ... I was just 
saying ... the attraction can take over if ... "  I stuttered.  "Oh, oops," I said 
softly.

He smiled and bent forward slowly, watching my eyes.  He glanced down at my 
lips and I licked them without thinking.

"Hmmm," hummed in the back of his throat.

"Mulder, this isn't about us," I protested.

"Isn't it, Scully?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He lowered his head and brushed his lips against the pulse in my throat.  I felt 
arousal zing through my veins at that one small butterfly touch of his soft, warm 
lips.  "This bothers you cause your mother is getting some and you aren't," he 
said.

"I am not!" I protested again.  "Bothered, that is."

He licked my neck and I shivered.  "Mulder."

"Hmm?" he asked, moving up to suckle on my earlobe.  

I moaned.  "We have to talk," I said.

"Uh huh," he muttered, feathering kisses across my eyes and down my cheeks.

"We can't just do this," I said, beginning to quake with fear and anticipation.

"Mmm, hmmm," he mumbled, finally reaching my lips.  "Why not?" 

"Why not?" I repeated.

He didn't answer me.  He just laid his mouth over mine and starting kissing me 
senseless.  I groaned, feeling his tongue snake inside when I gasped in surprise.

His nimble fingers found my blouse and I registered somewhere in the back of 
my mind that he was unbuttoning my blouse.  "Mulder, please," I whined, 
hearing the fear in my own voice.

He pulled back immediately as though he'd been burned.  I didn't miss the flash 
of hurt on his face before he let his mask fall into place.  "Mulder," I started.

"It's all right, Scully.  I'm sorry.  You just had an awful shock and here I am 
pawing at you.  It's not the time or the place."

"Mulder, it's not you.  You know that don't you?"

He looked at me for a second and said, "Yeah, I think so.  Look, you need to 
think about this, absorb it.  Maybe you should talk to your mother in person, 
Scully, without me and Skinner as an audience."

"I think I should.  Right now, I just want to be alone for a while and think about 
this.  Thanks for going over there with me though."

He stood, grabbing his coat.  "No problem."  He walked to the door and opened 
it.  Standing there with his hand on the doorknob, he turned and looked at me.

"Scully, think about it, okay?"

"About what?"

"Why are you really so angry?  Is it really because your mother didn't tell you?  
Or is because she's found something you want?"  He paused.  "I know what I 
want, Scully."  I just stared at him.  "Just think about it.  You know how I feel 
about you," he said roughly.  Then he turned and left, closing the door softly 
behind him.

Did I?  Know how he felt about me, that is?  I guess I did.  He showed me in so 
many little ways.  He'd even said it before.  Albeit, he was drugged out of his 
mind, but did that make it invalid?  I wasn't sure.  I'd dismissed it at the time, not 
ready to have my heart broken because of a drugged statement he made and 
probably wouldn't remember the next day.

Then again, when I thought about all the times he'd been for me, without me 
having to ask for his help, I knew.  It was in the way he put his hand on the 
small of my back, the way he touched my face when he was sad for me, the way 
he kissed me forehead when I needed comfort, even the way he hugged me 
when he knew I was ready to fall apart and wouldn't admit it.  All the signs were 
there. 

The question was, did I feel the same way?  I knew, somewhere deep down that 
I did.  I frankly didn't know what I was afraid of.  If I thought about it honestly, 
I'd always shied away from long-term relationships, and yet, here I was with 
Mulder.  Seven long years and I was still here, having had plenty of 
opportunities to leave.

We moved around so much when I was a kid, I learned that it wasn't smart to get 
attached to any one person.  A person, particularly a woman, needed to stand on 
her own two feet and rely on no one else for her emotional stability or her 
financial security.  The thing was, that stance, while it protected me in many 
ways from being hurt, also closed me off to a lot of possibilities.  

My mother wasn't that way.  She'd moved around too, obviously, but that had 
never curbed her generous, understanding nature.  Oh, she was a spitfire.  I'd 
learned long ago not to be deceived by her petite stature and loving smile.  My 
mother could be a tiger.  That was never more evident than when I saw her 
taking the high hard one on her kitchen counter.

Seven years and I'd never admitted how I felt about Mulder.  Three years since 
my father died, and my mother was in love with someone else.  Could I honestly 
begrudge her that?  No, I couldn't.  I hadn't really thought about what would 
happen after my father died.  I never considered that she would want someone 
else.  It honestly had never crossed my mind.  When I thought about it though, 
she wasn't an old woman. She was only 58.  She could easily live another twenty 
years.  Twenty years was a long time to be alone.  I did my laundry and then 
made some coffee while I continued to think.

I felt hot tears scald my cheeks.  Seven years was a long time to be alone.  I was 
so tired.  I was tired of being alone, tired of wanting someone in my bed and 
tired of making sacrifices for my career.  I was only human, and so was Mulder.  
Although I liked to think differently, I knew he wouldn't wait forever.  I'd almost 
lost him to other women several times and the thought of it had me ill.  I'd been 
crazy with jealousy, which I disguised under professional concern for his career, 
or friendly concern about his well-being.  I unpacked my bag and made a salad 
for dinner, my mind still swirling with my thoughts.

It was all bullshit.  I'd been jealous of Detective White.  I'd been jealous of 
Phoebe, and Bambi the bug lover.  The worst, of course, had been Diana.  I'd 
hated her on many levels.  Mostly though, I'd hated that she had something with 
Mulder, even if it was in the past, that I didn't think I could ever have.  I was 
jealous, plain and simple.  I needed another mindless task and so I walked 
around, aimlessly dusting.  I couldn't shut my mind down.  It was now 8:00 PM 
and my mind was spinning just as fast as it had been this morning.

I made my way into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower until the water 
ran cold.  I got out, dried off and slipped into pajamas.  It was early, but I made 
a cup of tea and carried it into the bedroom.  I curled up against the mountain of 
pillows against the headboard and settled in with my current novel and cup of 
tea.  "The Anatomy of Motive" by John Douglas.  I was reading about criminal 
psychology, Mulder's forte.  Was that Freudian?  

Several minutes made it obvious I wasn't going to be able to concentrate.  I set 
the book down and stared into space while I sipped at my tea.  I finally gave up, 
put the tea on the nightstand and slid down under the covers.  Maybe things 
would look different in the morning. 

XXXXXXXXXX

They didn't.  They were even worse.  I was riddled with guilt over my childish 
reaction to my mother's situation.  She was right.  I should have knocked, even 
though I heard moaning.  I should have shouted out, "Mom!" when we entered 
instead of the strangled whisper I'd been able to force through my lips.  I 
shouldn't have assumed she was in trouble.

I'd done all those things and look what it got me.  An eyeful of my boss's body 
making crazy, passionate love to my mother in the middle of the morning on a 
kitchen counter.

When was the last time I was so passionate I couldn't make it to the bedroom 
and ended up boffing in the kitchen or the living room on the couch?  This was 
sad.  I don't think I'd ever lost control like that.  I spent the morning thinking and 
then shut it all off to go to work.  

XXXXXXXXXX
HOOVER BUILDING
BASEMENT - X-FILES OFFICE
WASHINGTON, D.C.

Mulder was sneaking looks at me all day as we prepared the reports and expense 
sheets from this last case.  Every time he did I realized I had some things to do.  
One, I needed to apologize to my mother.  Two, I needed to apologize to my 
boss.  Three, I had to rethink my relationship with Mulder and decide what my 
priorities were going to be. 

Was I going to put my work first for the rest of my life, sacrificing my personal 
life and happiness for the sake of the quest?  Was I going to hide from him for 
God knew how long and be able to stay together without cracking?  Or, was I 
going to take a leap of faith, the biggest of my life and throw my lot in with 
Mulder for the brass ring, the big one, the committed relationship.

I obviously couldn't figure all this out at once.  One thing at a time.  Although I 
should probably talk to my mother first, I was here now.  I picked up the phone 
and could see Mulder watching me out of the corner of my eye as I dialed the 
extension 359.

[Skinner,] he barked.

"Uh, Sir. I  was wondering if you had a moment to see me."

There was a short pause.  [Is this concerning work, Agent Scully?] he asked.

I cleared my throat.  "Actually it isn't, Sir.  It's personal."

Another pause and he said, [Are you sure you want to discuss this here at work?]  
His voice was maddeningly calm.

"If you have the time, Sir.  If not, I can see you at another time."

[Come on up, Agent Scully.]  He hung up.  I slowly put the phone back in its 
cradle. 

"I'm going upstairs to see Skinner for a few minutes," I announced as I stood up 
and headed for the door.

Mulder asked, "Do you want company?"

I stopped and looked at him.  "No.  Thanks though.  I need to do this myself."

"Do what?" he asked, no hint of censure in his voice.

"Apologize," I said simply.

He nodded.  "Good luck."

"Thank you," I said sincerely.  Then I turned on my heel and walked out.


XXXXXXXXXX
PART 9 (PG-13)
XXXXXXXXXX
HOOVER BUILDING
WASHINGTON, D.C.
THIRD FLOOR
A.D. SKINNER'S OFFICE

I knocked lightly on the door and heard him holler, "Come in!"

I opened the door and went through, closing it behind me. I  made my way to the 
chair in front of his desk without ever looking at him.  I sat down and took a 
deep breath, finally raising my eyes to his.  "Sir," I greeted him.

"What's on your mind, Agent Scully?"

"I came up here because," I paused.  "I owe you an apology, Sir."

He looked surprised.  This was obviously not what he expected.  I could tell he 
had been tense, waiting for a lecture from me.  "I don't know if that's true, Agent 
Scully," he replied, still using my formal title.

"I think it is.  I'm sorry about yesterday.  I shouldn't have barged in.  I shouldn't 
have judged you or my mother.  It was just a shock."

He bit his lip and took off his glasses, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his 
nose.  He threw them on the desk.  "Let's dispense with the formalities, shall 
we?"

"O.K.," I said quietly, looking down in embarrassment.

"Look at me," he demanded, as he put his glasses back on.

I met his eyes head on.  I never noticed how soft and brown they were.  He bit 
his lip again in a rare nervous gesture, but didn't break eye contact.  "First, when 
we're alone you can call me Walter."

I was surprised this time.  He'd always been so formal with us, at least here in 
the Hoover building.  I nodded.

"Second, I want you to know something."

"I'm listening," I said.

"I didn't plan on this, Scully.  I didn't plan on seeing your mother outside of a 
hospital room, but I did, and we ended up chatting and having dinner."

I nodded.

"I didn't plan any of this, Scully, but I couldn't help it.  It was out of my control 
from the first minute your mother danced with me."

I smiled softly.  "She's an amazing woman, isn't she?"

He smiled.  "She's incredible.  Now I know where you get it from."

I smiled harder, pressing my lips together, as the unexpected praise made me 
feel inordinately proud.  "Thank you, Sir."

"Walter, remember?  We're alone.  I had the same problem with your mother.  It 
took me nearly a week to get her to stop calling me Mr. Skinner."

I chuckled at that.

"Look Scully.  I wasn't lying.  I'm in love with your mother.  I don't even know 
how it happened.  I didn't plan on it.  I didn't go looking for it, but it happened.  I 
can't change that.  It might not be smart and it might not be wise.  Doesn't 
matter.  It just IS.  I can't help it.  I can't just stop loving her.  It doesn't work that 
way."  He paused.  "I don't know what's going to happen or where this will go, 
but I can promise you this," he said.

I looked at him expectantly.

"I will NEVER hurt her.  That, I can promise you."

I held his gaze for a moment longer and then looked away.  I believed him.  I'd 
never seen him with his guard this far down.  Well, except for yesterday in my 
mother's kitchen.  I blushed as a picture of it flashed through my mind again.  He 
saw it and grinned, but graciously didn't say anything.  "Thank you, Sir.  It may 
take me a while to get used to the idea, but I'm trying," I said.

"That's all I can ask for," he replied.  "Apology accepted.  Now it's my turn."

"Why?"

"I'm sorry you walked in on what you saw.  Obviously that's supposed to be 
private."

"Goes without saying," I muttered.

He grinned.  "I can't change that either.  I hope you can just, uh, try to forget 
that.  It's embarrassing to me too."

"I know," I said.  Actually, I'd never considered that he or my mother was 
embarrassed.  I was so selfishly wrapped up in my own shock and horror that I 
hadn't really considered anyone else.  I felt a dart of shame over that.

"Well, you seemed to be doing a good job," I blurted out.

He laughed then, covering his face with his hand and I actually watched his 
scalp suffuse with color.  God, he was embarrassed.  "I don't even know what to 
say to that," he mumbled, not looking up.

"Don't say anything.  Just don't hurt her," I said.

He looked up then.  "I won't."

"Then that's all I can ask for," I replied.  

I got up and walked to the door.  I said, "I'm going to leave and go talk to my 
mother as well."

"I'm sure she would like that.  She was very upset after you left yesterday."

I felt guilty again and nodded.  "I'll, uh, see you later."

He nodded.  "Yeah, later."

I left and closed the door behind me.  Well, that had been the easy part.  Now I 
had to face my mother.  

XXXXXXXXXX
MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOUSE
BETHESDA, MD
MONDAY EVENING - 5:30 PM

I knocked loudly on the door and waited.  My mother opened the door with an 
amused look on her face.  I held up the bag in my hand.  "What's this?" she 
asked.

"A peace offering," I said.

She raised her eyebrow and took it.  Then she backed up and waved me in.  We 
went into the living room and sat down.  She set the bag on the coffee table.  
"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"How about some tea?" I asked.

"Sure, be right back."

She retreated into the kitchen.  I honestly didn't think I could go in there right 
now.  She was gone for several minutes.  I was glad.  It gave me a chance to 
compose my thoughts.  Finally, she emerged with two cups of tea, sugar and 
milk on a tray.  She set them on the coffee table and then sat back, after picking 
up the bag.  She reached in and pulled out the box.

She chuckled softly.  "Thank you.  I've been meaning to get one of these."

"I can hook it up before I go," I said, looking at the new digital answering 
machine she held in her hand.

She set it on the floor next to the chair she was sitting in.  "I'll figure it out."  She 
paused.  "Or Walter can hook it up for me.  He said I should have one too."

"Did he?" I asked.

She nodded and busied herself putting milk and sugar in her tea.

Well, wasn't this awkward.  I cleared my throat.  I had to get this over with.  
"Mom, I need to say some things and I just need for you to listen, okay?"

She picked up her tea and took a sip.  "Okay," she said softly.

"First, I apologized to Skinner today before I left work.  My reaction was 
uncalled for.  I should have knocked, I should have announced myself and I 
shouldn't have assumed you were in trouble," I said in a rush.  "I owe you the 
same apology."

She pressed her lips together.  "Apology accepted," she said simply.

I nodded.  "Yeah, well, that's not all."

"I didn't think it was," she said casually.

"I did a lot of thinking after Mulder and I talked and he left."

"Did it help?" she asked.

I looked at her.  "Yes.  I realized several things.  One, most of my reaction was 
simply shock.  I'm sorry," I said again.

She remained silent, knowing I wasn't finished.

"I thought about Daddy a lot," I admitted.

She nodded.  "I think about him every day, Dana."

"I miss him a lot," I said, tearing pooling in my eyes.

She set her tea down and reached for my hand.  I leaned off the corner of the 
couch and held her hand.  "I do too," she said.

"At first, I felt like you'd betrayed him, as silly as that sounds."

"No, it's not silly.  I thought about those same things."

"I realized though that you were right.  He's never coming back and you 
shouldn't be alone for the rest of your life, none of us should."  I paused.  
"Including me," I added.

She patted my hand and sat back again.  She leaned forward, picked up her cup 
and sipped again then settled back, cradling it against her chest.  "Is this about 
you or me?" she asked, in her usual perceptive fashion.

"Both.  I realized above all else, Mom, I want you to be happy.  If Walter 
Skinner is the man that can do that, then I want you be with him."

"Thank you," she said.  "I don't need your permission, Dana."

"I know."

"However, I do feel better having your blessing."

I smiled at her.  "There's more.  This is the hard part."

She nodded, encouraging me with her eyes.

"I realized that I've had feelings for someone for a long time that I've kept 
hidden, afraid to let go and admit them.  I've spent seven years in limbo, 
worrying about losing him to another woman and yet, afraid to claim him for my 
own.  Seeing you with Skinner yesterday was a shock, but it made me realize 
something."  I paused, swallowing and took a deep breath.  "It's been three years 
since Daddy died, and you're moving on, and you should.  I, on the other hand, 
have spent seven years NOT moving on."

I turned to look at her again, meeting her gaze.  "I realized how brave you are," I 
admitted.  "So brave to push past the grief and loneliness and reach out for 
happiness.  It's a big risk, you know?"

"I do know.  It's worth it though," she said. 

"Is it?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded.  "Tell him how you feel, Dana."

I just stared at her.

"Fox love you so much," she said suddenly and with such feeling.

I felt those traitorous tears coming again and whispered around the lump in my 
throat, "I know.  I don't know what I'm afraid of."

She set her tea down again after taking another sip.  Mine was sitting there 
getting cold.  I was wringing my hands and decided a warm cup of tea would be 
better.  I hated showing my nervousness, even to my mother.  I fixed my tea and 
she waited.  When I done and had taken a sip, she said, "You're afraid of what 
we're all afraid of, losing what we love."

"How do you get past that?" I said.

"You realize that the loss will be no less for having kept yourself from him.  
You love him, whether you tell him or not.  He loves you, whether he tells you 
or not.  If one of you is hurt or heaven forbid, got killed, would the pain be any 
less for having not been in a romantic relationship?"

"No, I guess not."

"No, it wouldn't.  In fact, it would probably be worse."

"Why?" I asked, truly confused.

"Because he would die never knowing how you felt about him.  He would die 
never knowing that a beautiful, intelligent woman loved him unconditionally, 
could have made him so happy, and chose not to, simply because she was 
afraid."

Well, shit.  Put like that, it made me seem like an ogre for withholding my 
feelings from him.  Maybe I was an ogre.  "I'm scared," I said again 
unnecessarily.

She smiled.  "I'll bet he's just as scared, Dana.  Probably more so.  He has no one 
else.  If he loses you, he has nothing and no one.  He knows that.  You have 
family, Dana, people that love you.  He doesn't.  You're the only one that loves 
him now.  His parents are gone.  His sister is gone.  He has no wife or children, 
no one to even remember him.  Just you, Dana."

"God, Mom," I choked out, feeling the tears let lose and fall down my face.  
Damn it.  I'd told myself I wasn't going to cry.

"You know something else?" she asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You deserve to be happy too, Dana.  I don't know why you've always been so 
driven.  You've never had anything to prove to anyone, no matter what you 
think.  My dearest wish is to see my children happy." 

I met her eyes again and saw they were moist.  "I know," I said.

She smiled sadly.  "You haven't been happy in a long, long time, Dana."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"A mother can tell these things," she said quietly.

"You really think it would work, even though we're partners?" I asked.

"I know it would work.  You would MAKE it work.  When you love someone, 
that's what you do.  You talk, you compromise, you make it work, and it's worth 
it, Dana.  I was scared too, but I know it's worth it.  It was worth it with your 
father, and it will be worth it with Walter."  She tapped her chest.  "I know it in 
here.  I love him, Dana," she whispered.  "That doesn't mean I stopped loving 
your father, but I'm alive and I have to live."  She paused.  "And you should 
too."

I got up and kneeled in front of her chair and laid my head in her lap.  She gently 
brushed my hair off my cheek and leaned down and kissed my temple.  "Should 
I wait?  Ask him out on a date or something?" I asked.

She chuckled then.  "You've been dating for seven years, Dana.  Even turtles 
move faster than that."

I laughed sadly at myself.  God, my mother was so wise, and infinitely more hip 
than I was.  It was sad, really.  "So you think I should just go for it, huh?"

She patted my shoulder as I looked up at her, lifting my head off her lap.  "Go 
for it," she said.  "You'll never be sorry."

THE END.